Happiness isn't lost...just misplaced.

say.

2011-09-06T12:16:00.002-05:00

Language is an interesting thing. We learn new things by repeating them, over and over.

But, the dialect chosen isn't always that of spoken word. It's of feelings, compassion and care.

So today, forget about the phrases that leave your lips.

Let your heart do the talking.

Speak.

flower.

2011-09-02T16:25:00.004-05:00

Sitting in a field, I see a single flower. Refusing to die off. Fighting to bloom.

The petals reach to the sun and I'm blessed with a teacher of patience, peace, and happiness from the color emerging. Observing, amazed.

Those blooms and moments forever etched in my mind. Making me smile.

Wow, I'm lucky I knew such a feeling.

I only wish I could give this flower what it needs to survive. I begged the universe to give me the ability, and over and over I failed to tap into it. I knew it was the same bloom, but my ability to see the vivid color was gone. What's wrong with me?

I tried buckets of water, and my technicolor vision didn't get better. I let it be, and worse yet. My only hope is that if I let go of you dear flower, that the sun I've been blocking out during dark times will finally find you again. That the rain can finally nourish you, without my hands interfering. It's not easy to admit I can't do the job, it took a long time. I've failed.

Precious petals. I hope my tears haven't poisoned the soil from which you grow. You amaze me.

I'm so sorry.

return.

2010-11-30T01:58:00.002-06:00

It's time to come back, face the facts. A dose of reality with a dash of honesty is the cure. You can pretend all you want, but you just hurt yourself. For we know the false security, is simple a facade.

So, open up, break down. Love. Hate. Scream. Laugh. Throw things. Hug things. Write things. Sing things. Feel. Now.

Just don't wait.

You have to live, today.

Or risk being numb, for good.

scars.

2010-07-05T00:36:00.005-05:00

You held me down, and I fought you off. I thought I had won, that I was OK. Others had been through worse, right? I was one of the lucky ones.

But, the scars you left weren't physical at all. It was more than that. A suggestion that my appearance could attract such force.

Well, that's it. This ends now. I'm ready to heal. Face the fear.

Your strong hands have no power over me now, because I'm taking my life back. Even though I didn't realize until recently, I had ever lost it.

I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe.

I'll repeat the phrase until I truly believe it, knowing those who surround me now are right about the fact that I deserve a fulfilled life. For the outside to match the inside.

No more hiding behind these extra layers of security.

I will be free.

overcast.

2010-07-02T01:15:00.003-05:00

What you say reels me in. Every time. The kind eyes don't hurt, either. But in the end, it's your soul that makes me want to stay. All day, everyday...radiating love like tiny beams of sunshine, no matter what clouds are following me-lurking in the past.

I wish I would have had you there before, on those overcast nights. The pain we share now is merely a faint memory of what once was. But, witnessing this sunrise of ideas, passion, and love...makes everything warm and worth it.

Thank you.

ps.

2010-06-29T11:48:00.004-05:00

I know you have the spirit to fight this, the will to survive, and the heart to show everyone how it's done. You can't give up, I won't let you. Let's get healthy together. I love you more than you could ever know. The battle starts now. A quest for a new way of life, better than we ever imagined. Together, we will show the world our united strength.

Erica

ps. please include your own "ps" comment---this letter is for my grandpa bob, you can write the ps to him, or your own grandparent/friend/relative you are pulling for. Oh, and write where u r from if u can. Thank you.

me.

2010-06-05T01:26:00.005-05:00

I am not an amazing person.
But I do believe one person is capable of amazing things.

I am not better than anyone.
But I do want to be better than I was yesterday.

I am not always nice, inspiring, or friendly.
But I do believe the more I try to be, the easier it gets.

I do not care more than others do.
But I do think accomplishing a little, sure beats wishing for a lot.

I refuse to concentrate on despair, how we ignore what we can't see.
But I know by standing up, my visibility will give a voice to those in the shadows.

I am not an army of millions with expensive gear and guns to fight.
But I am a soldier of service, with water...more powerful than weapons.

This battle is not over.

clear.

2010-05-31T22:02:00.006-05:00

You talk about the past constantly. Wallowing in the quicksand of "what ifs."

When you tire of looking over your shoulder, you spend the rest of the day panicked with talk of tomorrow. The fog of anxiety making it impossible to think rationally.

Well, you forgot about something.

Right now.

If you continue the worry, anticipation, and regret...your mind won't have time for this moment. The magical chance to do something, to make a difference. It'll be so clouded you won't be able to see the opportunities standing right in front of you.

Stop complaining about the past. Stop worrying about the future. Open your eyes. It's killing me to see the suffering you put yourself through, by re-living torturous moments beyond your control.

The good news is this: happiness is here.

Now.

:-)

gifts.

2010-05-20T03:21:00.004-05:00

Did you know it's your birthday?
No, really-I'm not joking.

You don't need presents, chocolates, jewelry, and stacks of cards you'll throw away. You need people, connections, air, water...and those are things that show up as gifts to you each morning.

Give yourself more than one day a year to be happy.

Stop waiting for the candles on your cake to light your way, instead, be the spark creating a glow in others.

Happy birthday to you. Because that's exactly what it is...the birth of a new day.

Leave the grudges, regrets, and faded wrapping paper behind.

There is no gift that can compare to living in the present. And by living, I mean truly living. Not just existing.

It's your big day.

Now, make a wish...and turn it into reality.

shutdown.

2010-05-10T13:53:00.003-05:00

The computer crashed, restart.
The followers are gone, panic.
The stoplight is red, hit the steering wheel and shout.

Now, stop.

Maybe it's just the universe telling you to put your life on pause, be centered, and refocus. For a few seconds. Minutes if you're lucky. A forced break from the rush. Take advantage of it.

payment.

2010-05-07T01:33:00.003-05:00

I read what you wrote the other day, it gave me something to think about.

"I can't afford this.
I would do that, if I had money.
I can't make enough doing what I love."

Money? Maybe not. But, at least you'll be truly wealthy. By paying yourself in passion, you reap the rewards of a gratifying existence.

I can see the purpose cash is serving. Buying things causing resentment over the daily grind. That's no way to live. With a twinge of anger in your heart, constantly. It's not worth it.

Because, in the end...we don't take money with us. But, we can leave love as a gift to those still here.

Give me penniless over passionless, any day.

Good luck friend, be rich.

fly.

2010-05-05T02:25:00.003-05:00

Unhappy?

Stop waiting for people to rescue you. This time put on the cape and tights and rescue yourself for a change.

Create the life you want.

Be a hero.

Fly above the confusion and crap. The whining, the excuses, the pity parties.

Because you deserve better.

But first you need to believe you do.

lies.

2010-04-30T14:47:00.003-05:00

It's painful to see you lying to yourself. Saying there is nothing left to do to make things better or right. You know these words are poison, don't you?

It's simple, really. Just believe in yourself the same way your friends and family believe in you, the same way I believe in you. If you have to fake it at first, so be it. But, one day what feels like fiction will turn to fact, your brain and heart will agree on three things.

You are worth it.

You make a difference.

You touch others.

One thought, one act, and one friendship at a time.

force.

2010-04-25T19:19:00.004-05:00

Passionate intention.

It's a magical thing.

I see your love for what you do, and it makes me want to act, to help, to inspire.

Yet, lately the feeling has shifted...and now your egoic mind is working against the mission. How? Because I've heard you. Say, "I'll show 'em. I'll succeed, and then they'll eat their words."

True, sometimes disdain can be turned into fire to fuel passions inside. But, if you allow the anger to drive your desire to succeed, what is left when the person you wish to prove wrong doesn't notice?

Act. Because you feel compelled.

Push. Because passion drives you to.

And use love as the driving force. Because people can tell if your motives are pure, or tainted by resentment and revenge.

Intention attracts. Be careful, friend. Make sure you are being a magnet for what you truly want in your life.

<3

fear

2010-04-14T03:16:00.004-05:00

Fear is running circles around you.
Tricking you into thinking this is all you are capable of. This is what you are destined to do, chained to this mundane situation you call life.

Ya know what? Forget being afraid. It doesn't accomplish anything.
For once, just once...I want to see love win this battle. Love of yourself, your strengths, your passions.

Are you truly living, or simply existing...think long and hard before you answer. It doesn't "have" to be this way. Change it. Overcome. Give yourself a life of love, fueled by a love of life.

C'mon friend...what are you waiting for? No, really. Stop reading and go for it. You owe yourself that much, at least.

Now.

walking.

2010-04-08T02:26:00.003-05:00

The temperature outside matches the new warmth my heart is feeling lately.

You did this, you know. With a few steps. Creating big shoes to fill, and challenging everyone to see if they fit. You reminded me what it's like to be truly passionate. With a few words, summoning a fire I forgot existed beneath the surface.

A blaze of brave thoughts. Not about love in the romantic sense. But, about how that beautiful four letter word can move others to take action.

An intense need to care.

About people. A cause. A mission.

To be in love, with life.

So, don't sit still just yet. Your trek isn't done. Keep walking the walk. Because talk is only that.

Do what you do best. Lead us. We're ready.

rain.

2010-04-03T10:29:00.000-05:00

You sit in the downpour, allowing the drops to dampen your spirit.

But, why? When the rain comes, do something.

Grab your umbrella of change, create a safe place for yourself.

If life wants to soak you to the bone, you have to allow it to do so...you are resourceful enough to find shelter, so stop standing there.

Dry yourself off, and start fresh.

The drops are encouraging you to grow, not asking you to drown in martyrdom.

Learn from the storm, instead of cursing it. If you move quickly enough, you'll see the rainbow in the distance.

<3

look

2010-03-30T00:46:00.003-05:00

It's OK to have a bad day...as long as it doesn't turn into a bad week or month. Being down doesn't deserve that much time in your daily schedule.

If you think about it, most of the time it's not even necessary to make a "day" out of the bummer of a feeling. After all, it was just a moment that was "bad" right?

Stop allowing those moments to ruin all of the good things happening around you.

I refuse to believe the darkness of ill intentions can block out the rays of awesome surrounding us every day. Let go of the night, look towards dawn...it'll be here sooner than you think.

<3

play.

2010-03-25T01:31:00.003-05:00

I know you are scared. I can see it in your eyes. Don't worry, I've been there, believe me. All of a sudden, things are changing...and the thought of a tune very different from the one you know, can be terrifying.

All I ask is you realize one thing. This isn't a crisis, this is a new beginning. You are starting the life you were meant to lead.

Things up until now haven't been a waste...they've been wands of wisdom and lyrical messages from the soul. So, take those tunes and make the music you were meant to play. Go forward without fear.

Look at me. Smile. The hard part is over.

Now, we sing as beams of light warm our faces and hearts. The words will come as the beat sets our easy new pace.

Now, we truly live.

flame.

2010-03-23T00:57:00.002-05:00

You sit there...in the darkness, blinded by resentment. It poisons your life, seeps into every fiber of your soul. The bitter blackness of a spirit burnt by expectations.

Now, you search frantically. For light, a glimmer in the night...anything. How could they abandon you on your own? Without leaving guidance?

Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe-you aren't meant to walk anywhere in the darkness right now? The temporary blindness is a gift, and if you would simply close your eyes to breathe, instead of feeling lost and out of control, you will feel safe.

Center yourself in the darkness. It's a reminder to be still. What you are searching for is inside, not the light provided by another.

Become your own flame. Burn brightly.

selfish.

2010-03-12T12:11:00.002-06:00

Dear Friend,

I miss you, cry for you...grieve. Yet, I know my actions are selfish. The tears are for myself, lost without your laugh and wishing I could bring you back. You are in a wonderful place, living past the physical limitations that kept you from doing what you loved while you were here. I'm sure your days are filled with wine, singing, dancing, and swimming with other saints.

A life closer to the sun, how fitting. It makes sense, considering you were the ray of happiness for everyone in your presence. Smiling with the ability to turn the most stubborn scrooge into a softhearted sap.

Today, I will cry one more time...knowing full well I'm feeling sorry for myself. Drops of greedy rain, falling from my eyes. Craving one more hug, one more laugh, one more shot of energy from your smile. You made it possible to believe the impossible is a lie.

But, don't worry-I fully realize your gift to us. A perspective where holding back isn't an option, happiness is a choice, and being stingy with love...is a crime.

Thank you, for the positive push from above. Time to wipe my tears, and outfit myself with a grin. You've changed everyone around you, for the better. Now I leave this selfish sorrow to step into the light and warmth you left behind.

-Erica

*This post is dedicated to my dear friend Darcy Pohland. I love you, and can see you raising hell up there. Keep it up. There will never be another like you.

quiet.

2010-03-07T01:46:00.004-06:00

I can feel the breeze as you pace by me. Wrapped up in your world of yesterday and tomorrow. Eyes shifting, as I see the gears in your head working overtime. Talking yourself into worry and doubt.

Be careful.

Your mind is speaking so loudly, it's drowning out the message your heart is trying to send. Shhh...listen, to the simple silence of your soul. It's when you reach the point of hearing nothing, you will realize you are everything.

<3

water.

2010-03-06T07:35:00.003-06:00

Dear Family-
(yup, you are my blog family <3) I'm breaking my "normal" style to tell you about something very important. Near and dear to my heart, actually.

I talk about how happiness is simply misplaced. This is true. But for some, it's hard to simply survive. Despite the crappy state of parts of the world, if everyone pitches in, just a little, we can make a big difference.

That's where you come in.

You see, I'm giving up my birthday this year. Yup, you heard right. Giving it up so the gifts I would have gotten, can instead be turned into donations to a cause I care very much about. After all, I hardly even remember what I got last year.

I'm turning 29, and instead of asking for gifts, I'm asking for $29 or more from everyone I know. A lot of ppl don't realize that a billion people in the world are living without clean water. Millions contract deadly diseases from contaminated water. 45,000 people will die this week alone. 4,500 children will die, just today. It may seem overwhelming, but...if we all do just a little, we can accomplish a lot.

I'm not here to guilt ya into donating, I realize the economy sucks right now. If you can't, that is totally fine and you can still help by word of mouth--spreading awareness is just as important. :-)

Thanks for listening :-) If you've ever taken something from these words I write, this is your way to show me. But, if you don't...I will still love you, promise.

Here is the link for donating, the campaign runs through May. We can make a difference. Believe.

-E

forecast.

2010-03-04T21:51:00.003-06:00

I can see you, allowing the stormy weather surrounding others, to determine the atmosphere you live in.

Just keep these things in mind:

1. When you think the sky is dark, the rain will drench you to the core.
2. When you complain about the brisk breeze, the cold will seek you out.
3. But, more importantly, when you seek sunshine it will find you. Because it was always there, you just needed to look behind the clouds to find it.

Create your own forecast, there are sunny days ahead. I promise. Now go, puke a rainbow. ;-)

seek.

2010-03-03T12:02:00.003-06:00

What happens when we plant our gardens, and tulips spring up where we think the roses should be? More often than not, complaints flourish, about the flowers we didn't expect, instead of seeing the new blooms as a compliment to the surrounding stems.

We say our jobs make us wary, our family and friends exhaust us because they aren't doing what we want them to. What we expect them to do.

Stop expecting. Start creating. Manifest your own fate. If you leave it up to someone else you are a bud without water, in the middle of the desert waiting for rescue. Instead, seek out the spring, control your surroundings, and bring happiness into your life.

Once you nourish yourself, and colorful petals start to show, the weeds of the world will have no power. Don't you see? You have the means to create a garden of good. Stop sulking in the scorching sun. Get up, and plant yourself in a sanctuary of action and love.

disaster.

2010-02-27T11:35:00.003-06:00

And we watch it all unfold from afar. The cries, devastation, and tragedy. It's like a horror movie, with characters as real as you and me. A mother grieving for a lost child, father searching for his wife, friends hoping to find their missing pets...the innocent animals who complete them.

And we forget that the actions we take half a world away, are not helping. Our complaining about coverage and rants about destruction, aid not one person.

We say we wish would could help, yet we sit in front of our TV's with lunch on our lap...turning the images off once we feel uncomfortable. We have food, electricity, and love...and the means to give these things back to the people we watch for entertainment. And forget, that giving up our dinner for a few days...could make all of the difference.

But, in the end if you don't want to talk about money or need, then at least talk about charity from your soul. Fill your heart with compassion, reach out, and let the survivors know you care about them, not about the "stupid" things media do, or what government isn't.

After all, the quakes, shakes and giant waves of fear are here to do one thing. To remind us to love each other.

equation.

2010-02-26T11:53:00.004-06:00

"I'll never be happy."

"Things don't go my way."

"I just want a sign things will work out."

You want a sign? Here ya go. This simple blog entry found you today, didn't it? Allow me to hit you over the head with this you seek.

Life, is good. Challenging? Yes. But, good. Often times we are so busy complaining about what is going wrong, we don't take time to acknowledge the dozens, no, hundreds of things going any given day.

So, take time to count your blessings, see how they add up. Crunch the numbers. Do this daily, and you won't have time to subtract from your happiness with the negative thoughts.

That, my friend...is the math lesson of life, we so easily forget. An equation for puking rainbows.

<3

listen.

2010-02-24T04:26:00.002-06:00

All day long you talk about how you are listening. Yet, you speak about it so much...I don't think the world has a chance to get a word in edgewise.

With things like radio, tv, video games, and unicorns to dream about, it's amazing you even have a chance to think, let alone listen.

So, at what point will you break? Realize it's all just too much? Your mind and heart caving in from the stimulant torture. We call these things luxuries, as they provide us an escape from ourselves. An excuse not to face orders from higher up, favors for friends, or the music in the speakers(reminding us of memories, a plethora of them bad).

Going, going, going...thoughts reeling. Like a merry-go-round of words, spinning until you are physically ill.

There is a solution, you know. Turn it off. No, not life...the unnecessary static. Turn your dial to a frequency of necessity, not want. Now, drive. Not thinking about the past or future, but instead taking in every single sound on your journey for what it is, breathtaking. You'll find beauty and peace right here, right now. Breathing in, and out. The sound of the road bringing you closer to presence.

A light through the pane, or in some cases...pain. A window of escape, as long as you look for it. Right here. In the moment.

<3

answer.

2010-02-22T05:12:00.002-06:00

A small break this Monday morning(formal writing will continue again tomorrow). *Those who have been reading for awhile, know I do this from time to time to talk about friends, influences, music (Dan and Cole), etc... Also, I just wanted to clear something up I've been getting a lot of questions about.

A lot of you have been asking about my link on the left side of the page to "I Wrote This For You." Q. Why I link to it, who writes it, etc...

Well, I link to it because I dig the writing style. And, as far as the author, I'm not exactly sure. But, after looking around...this is the only info I could find:

I Wrote This For You is written by two lovers who respond to each other only through the blog as a way to hide their romance. Collectively, they refer to themselves as Iain Thomas, a character based on a friend they met while traveling in Africa, although sometimes they also refer to themselves as Jon Ellis, whom, it is assumed, is also a character based on a friend.

This was revealed in phone-in television interview on National Singaporean Television in December of 2009.

(As you were, back to normal/happy entries again tomm) <3
E

highway.

2010-02-19T09:44:00.002-06:00

I've been watching you, for awhile now. Talking yourself in and out of the trip we both know you must take.

Sitting in the vehicle meant to conquer your dreams, revving the engine. Your tank so full of desire, it's overflowing with fuel for the future.

Dammit, take your foot off the brake.

I know goodbye is hard, but saying hello to a new destiny will make up for it, I promise. The road may look long, but the longer you sit here, the more gas you are wasting. Why risk running on fumes, when you have more then enough energy to make it if you go now?

This is your highway to happiness. What are you waiting for? Drive.

bloom.

2010-02-16T04:21:00.003-06:00

I can see your tiny body, standing steadfast and strong. Like a flower fighting against the wind to stay upright.

Just remember sometimes it's OK. To be afraid of that powerful breeze. The other meadow residents won't blame you for allowing your stem to sway.

The buds and blooms around you have been a witness to your resilience before. This may be the first time the pests have attacked your core, but not the first fight you've led against something unfamiliar.

So, little flower...please listen. Realize, YOU are more than just your hardships and hurdles, more than the insects that take your strength. You are a beautiful bud, ready to open. As if to say, "Damn you wind, pests, and fury of nature...I will battle to bloom, and you can't stand in my way."

~~~
stay strong, friend.
-e <3

love.

2010-02-14T12:08:00.007-06:00

I hate to tell you this, but you've got it all wrong. Love is free. It's not about flowers, chocolates, cards, and diamonds. It's about special glances, laughter, kisses, and stolen moments. The message I give you may seem confusing at first, but stick with me.

Please take this as a compliment when I say, you don't complete me. I complete myself. Emptiness cannot be filled by another person. It's like sitting a full glass of water next to a partially empty one. They may be closer together now, but one is still empty, and if a glass gives another the liquid it holds, now all you have is two, half full. Nobody is satisfied.

So, satisfy your own thirst, a brimming glass will run over, plenty of love flowing for all. Don't get me wrong, by this I don't mean to be selfish. Just to realize, you are complete no matter who is, or isn't at your side.

Stop looking for someone to fill the hole. Be whole in life on your own, you have that power. Then, seek a lover and partner brimming with awesome, just as you are. Someone who can afford to give, and won't go emotionally bankrupt, because they are also rich with joy.

Companions in completeness. :-)

---

ps. I love you, honey. <3

storm.

2010-02-11T04:39:00.004-06:00

Love is what a rainbow sounds like, when it refuses to fear the storm.

And you, my friend...are the pot of gold I'm trying so damn hard to get to.

You are the prize, riches beyond my craziest fantasies. It's too bad you only see yourself as a puddle, abandoned by the rain.

Look again. You reflect the sky. And the sun. Dammit...you practically radiate threads of golden light. See yourself, for the beautiful soul you really are.

Your gift to me is a different view of the world, a portrait of perspective more vital than air. So, sit here...as I breathe in your warmth. We'll make it through another storm together.

<3

dark.

2010-02-08T02:53:00.005-06:00

You wake from a nightmare, frantic, panicked. But, it wasn't a dream...this is real life. You begin to cry, and want out, as quickly as possible. But, still you see nothing. Only darkness.

Something more is out there. Warmth. Comfort. You feel it, radiating. So close, yet out of sight.

Screaming, "Help me!" You reach out in frustration, hoping your hand will touch something real. To bring you back.

Frustrated and full of fear, you sit with your face in your hands, sobbing. Feeling the tears stream between fingertips.

Then, you blink.

A flicker of light.

You blink again. Faster, willing the drops of salty water to leave your vision.

Everything is clear again. Every damn thing. Beautiful. New. Full of life.

You were so panicked and afraid of what was out there, so stuck in your land of nightmares...you didn't even realize, your eyes were closed. The dark prison where you were trapped, was all in your head.

So, open those beautiful eyes. Consciously use them to see good around you. The moment you stop looking for light, darkness will cover your eyes again.

Seek the radiant rays as a road map, and you'll never be lost, alone, or blind with fear.

<3

~~~

contagious.

2010-02-06T19:12:00.006-06:00

I know it's cliche to say "I know how you feel" so I'll just shut up for a second. Because I know, right now you don't want to hear how happy things will be down the road. You want to feel the pain, because it brings you to life. It reminds you, you are human.

I offer to listen, but you don't crave a silent ear. You want someone who will feed the drama. Tell you how you've been wronged.

Well, you've come to the wrong person. I won't do that. Fuel the fighting.

Why?

Because it doesn't help. It drags you back to that horrible place of anger and resentment, once again. That bitter block of time, in the past. Ruining a perfectly good moment in the present.

So, excuse me if I feel my stomach churning, and if without thinking I puke a rainbow on you. I'm a carrier of consciousness. Keep me around, and you'll catch it.

The sensation may seem strange at first, almost foreign. But, believe me, if being infected feels this great...I don't ever want to go back to being normal. Happiness is here. Contagious.

monday.

2010-02-06T05:14:00.005-06:00

And you say you'll wait 'til Monday. That weekends are for recovering.

Recovering? From what? The job draining the life from you? The meetings you can hardly sit through? The classes you are only taking out of obligation for what you "should" be doing with your life?

I hear you talk about these things, sucking the passion from your heart...yet you aren't willing to do anything about it? C'mon friend, you deserve more.

Take one second to look me in the eyes and listen. Please. Hear me out. If you work towards your dream now, maybe you won't have the DESIRE to "recover" on the weekends. Ever thought of it that way? An existence with satisfaction, everyday of the week.

Flowers grow, every single day. A day off from reaching towards the sun would mean dry roots, and droopy blooms.

Your soul doesn't take Saturdays off. Satisfy it.

<3

sleep.

2010-02-04T03:34:00.004-06:00

You say you're "tired of it all." Yet, you drag yourself through life like a zombie...repeating the same dance, day after day.

You say, "Someday I'll do it. Go after that dream." But, your "some days" are turning into today, and they'll soon become tomorrow's past, which is yesterday, then you realize in panic:

Poof. They're gone forever.

So, wake up. Right now. Be your dream, while you are conscious. Create your fate, while you can still see. Make it a reality, while you still have the ability to "do." Or, risk waking up to a feeling of despair, and a blank book of "what ifs."

Fill the pages. Live. Regrets don't exist here. Only lessons. Beautiful, living, breathing life lessons.

<3

~~~

hero.

2010-01-31T22:58:00.003-06:00

You roar through life, shielding everyone from the evil monsters nipping at their heels. Pulling them out of harms way and wrapping them in your armor clad embrace. A hero for the hurting in a time when few care about anyone but themselves.

But, after battle...when the armor lies at your feet and you clean your wounds, your eyes shift down.

You look tired. Weary. As if you are about to give up. Everyone has cleared away, shown their gratitude, moved on. Or so you think. I know the battlefield feels empty, silent, lonely. But, it's just the stars whispering to the universe to give you rest, allow time to heal...time to remember who you are, beneath the tough shield. A kind, giving, intelligent, amazing person.

But, we are here. Marching. In the distance. We never left you...we only went for reinforcements. Now is the time to step up and take back what is yours. Love, inspiration, and life. The things you've given us, again and again.

The toughest battle is in the books, over. Don't stop now. It's nearly dawn, the sun will be here soon. You may be wounded, but you're still our champion. Allow us to carry you a few steps to your horse, so you can lead us once again, and teach us the ways of kindness, beauty and strength.

This is it. Your moment. Come back to us- ready yourself again for combat, but please fight for the one person you've been overlooking.

Yourself.

Because without you, we are simply a band of misfits and outcasts, living in chaos and despair...but at your hand, we are an army of soldiers with kind hearts and quick minds...standing behind a hero who can't be matched, and taught us everything we know.

One day we will tell the story of your legacy. How you slayed evil and changed our lives. But, we'd much rather have you here to tell it yourself.

<3

--

goodbye.

2010-01-28T21:27:00.004-06:00

The miracle, of loss.
Yes, I said loss, not life.

You're hurting, and I can tell. Wounds are fresh and feelings are hurt. Grieving. I wish I could fix it, take it all away. The pain.

It's hard to see it now, but loss can hold a gift.

Without tragedy, or life-changing events...we would be emotionless robots. When one of us is hurting, we comfort each other. Band together. A united front. Learn what really matters in life.

But, when things are just "OK" we have no reason to speak, hug, or do more than just survive.

So, grieve, feel, hurt, and don't forget to squeeze back when I embrace you. After this dark day, things will be brighter and new...I'll remember how this felt, even if only to value the days that aren't like this one.

I love you.
---

martyr.

2010-01-25T04:43:00.004-06:00

You sacrifice.
Work long hours.
Give up on your dreams.
For others.

Or so you tell yourself.

But, in the end...you point the finger at those you say held you back. Even though they never had a choice in the matter.

So, stop it. You are nothing but a martyr...for yourself. A sacrificial lamb, to prove you are "the most caring person." Be careful, pent up wishes and dreams may be poisoning you slowly, toxic with resentment.

Don't you realize? You are most use to the people around you, when you are happy.
Include yourself among those you are willing to risk everything for. That, is how you can give back to them.

---

labels.

2010-01-21T16:43:00.005-06:00

We may be parting ways, but our hearts will always keep a piece of each other. Tucked away in our soul's pockets.

For, you can change the label of the relationship...but you can't change the feeling. You don't need to write, call, or even wave.
What we have cannot be put into words or a short, courteous greeting.

But, I'm not sad. You helped me realize who I really am.

And now I'm off...to be who I've wanted to be.

<3

---

give.

2010-01-18T16:27:00.003-06:00

You say what I do is great, amazing, inspiring, and even allow the word heroic to leave your lips. But, you are wrong.

My actions aren't nice...they're necessary.

You say you can't give. You can't afford it. But can your conscious afford not to?

Take away everything you own, and you will be bankrupt. But, you will still be better off than the survivors in the 'quake. Go for a day without food, how much would you spend? Every little bit helps. It's the least we can do.

Spread love. Human beings dying on the streets...your happy hour and new gadget can wait.

I know you. The generosity in your heart. I can see it in your eyes.

Look, please. Down here. I'm on my knees, begging.

Give.

For Haiti, and for the health of your heart. <3

lit.

2010-01-15T03:03:00.005-06:00

I told you...don't lose hope in humanity. People want to help you. They are there, just confused.

You are a match. You spark their memory. So they remember they're capable of change. Capable of pushing others to be better. Capable of starting something big.

I don't care if it's been raining all day. It's still possible to start a fire when the drops have subsided. It may be slow going at first. A little smoke, a signal to other sparks that you are rubbing your hands together, gearing up for the big event.

Then, crack! The flames begin. Your doing. You...all by yourself. You've lit a flame so powerful, it could bring the entire forest to it's knees in a matter of minutes.

Don't take the power lightly. It's fuel, inside you, waiting to be used. Nectar for the orange, red, and blue flames dancing around and thankful to be free to spark other, smaller fires of the future.

I see the smoke. Your smoke. Will you light the fire this time?

Let's turn the world red with good.
--

blind.

2010-01-13T03:13:00.004-06:00

Happiness has sought you out.

Stop closing your eyes.

It waves a bliss filled hand in front of your face...you stare straight ahead, not a blink.

Why? Everyone else believes in you. And no matter how hard we try to tell you it's well deserved, the blindness to the joy in front of you won't go away until you believe, as we do.

You've taken chances on us. Been our rock of reassurance along the way.

Now, take a chance on yourself.

Before your eyes are glued shut for good.

<3

silence.

2010-01-11T21:51:00.003-06:00

Some days the words are louder than others. Swarming in your head, a tornado of thoughts refusing to stop. You listen to them, and second guess yourself. Over and over, until you are at wits end.

Trying to catch your breath.
Gasping for air.

"Be quiet! All I want is silence!" You scream to yourself.

Don't worry, it's there. The peace you think is so far away is just waiting for you to find it. Just like an animal blending in with it's surroundings, unmoving. Waiting to be discovered, standing there, observing you.

And when you find that creature of solitude, it's head will snap up with surprise. Stunned, because for the longest time, it watched-observing from a camouflage of quiet, concealed beneath the frantic phrases you thought of constantly.

But, now you've found it. And every time you look, it will be easier to spot. The first discovery is the most difficult.

So, breathe...and keep your eyes peeled. Silence speaks to you, and wants to help, but all too often you are so busy you forget to look. Seek it out, and it will sing you to a song of stillness and relief.

Beautiful, noiseless lyrics, nobody can ever take away.

hill.

2010-01-08T19:45:00.003-06:00

The trip is uphill.

You will sweat.
You will cry.
You will feel your muscles burning, legs shaking.

But don't forget to look around on the way. See the flowers waving at you with encouragement. The trees telling you to push on. Birds leading the way.

Signs, everywhere. Open your eyes.

And once you reach the top, the feeling will be impossible to explain. Your mouth will open and your lips will be speechless. Your tired body will feel weightless.

Push on. It will be worth it.

I promise.

--

blame.

2010-01-06T02:33:00.004-06:00

The garden of prosperity is dead. He killed it. She killed it. Everyone else...they took it away from me.

Ya know what? An excuse...is not a free pass. It's a lie, to yourself.

You sit, and justify everything going wrong in your life. What about everything going right?

Once you pass the buck or blame someone else for the way you feel, act, or speak-they have power over you. It is only when you take responsibility for what is going right or wrong, that you can enjoy it-or change it, depending on what the situation is. Those feelings are then truly yours.

So, c'mon friend...stop blaming your neighbor for the flowers dying in your yard. Instead, water your ideas and watch them bloom. Don't blame the seed for not being a rose, instead...nourish it, take responsibility-turn it into what you want it to become.

Take charge. Take care. Give hope. To yourself.

Only then, can you provide hope to others.

--

absent.

2010-01-05T02:45:00.004-06:00

I want you to know how much I've missed you.

Your laugh, smile, and ability to bring me back to the present moment.
Your way of turning my temper into tears of happiness and how you transform tense shoulders into a giggling shrug.

I'll find a way, to stay closer. To pencil you in for more hugs and place you on a smile schedule. Because people are more important than papers, deadlines and dates.

You, are more important...than anything else.

resolutions.

2009-12-31T21:09:00.004-06:00

I don't care if you want to be thin, quit smoking, or find a new job.
I just care that you're happy.

That's my resolution for you. To be happy, today...with yourself. Because you are wonderful. 2009 knew it, 2010 is about to find out.

So, smile and stop worrying. Forget about what year it is. Forget about how much time you have to "accomplish" something. Forget about the butterflies the word "fail" conjures up in your stomach. What does it even mean? It's a silly label, that's all...a word, it doesn't make you less of a person.

For each moment is yours from now on. Live in the present. Be here, now.

<3

gift.

2009-12-29T16:47:00.005-06:00

Sometimes: My heart stays in the past.

Sometimes: My mind is racing about the future.

Sometimes: I forget about the present.

A real gift.

Live in it.

translate.

2009-12-28T12:06:00.003-06:00

Sometimes I think you expect me to translate what you are saying. Even when you don't say a word. Your eyes don't speak like they used to. Why is that?

Let's work on learning each others language. I'm trying hard to interpret, but you seem to be talking in tongues.

Slow down. Speak with a smile.

It's so much easier to understand you that way.

intoxicated.

2009-12-27T04:24:00.005-06:00

I'm drunk on your ideas.
The ways you inspire me to be better, do more, and think...

Tipsy on your kindness, outreach, and open heart.

And buzzed from the way you spin a hopeless situation, into hopeful.

My head may hurt in the morning, but it's only from my mind stretching to lengths it's not used to. Manifesting much more than I ever thought possible.

I'm where I am today, because people like you have shared your shots of awesome.

Pour another. Time to go on a bender.

Thank you.
Cheers.

ripple.

2009-12-25T04:45:00.006-06:00

I may fail, but at least I tried.
I may not make a tidal wave, but I know I'll make a ripple.
I may not let go when you ask me to, but at least I have something to hold onto.

Hope.

So, off I go. My optimism in tact. Why do you beg me to stay?
Are you afraid these smiles of determination will tarnish your precious reality?
It only takes one, and what if I am that one?

No...it's time to try. Not tomorrow. Not next year.

Now.

believe.

2009-12-24T14:46:00.004-06:00

It's the Holidays. Everyone takes a break...so I'm taking a break from my normal style. Here is an attempt at an interior monologue/conscious train of thought. No editing, just what I'm thinking. Welcome to my mind. ;-)

-----
believe.

It's nearly Christmas. Jingle all the way. Wow, the same carols are always playing and repeating.
What's that sound? Reality TV, it's worse than nails on a chalkboard. Joy, onto a commercial. Joy...means the holidays, but does it really?
So many are depressed, wow...that woman is crying on this show. It's so easy to watch the suffering of someone else, why is that? My friends suffer and I listen. But do I help? Do they feel like they need to help me, to keep me sane? Meh, why do I care? I don't know, I just do. That's natural, right?
Tuxedo, come back. The cat hates Christmas I think, destroying presents and bows. Maybe he's just doing it for attention, I should pet him more.
I should call my family more.
Kiss my husband more.
Do more freelance.
Ask for projects I know will be harder than what I'm given.
There is always more to do. Tasks at hand, but...I bring it on myself. It's fun. But is it really? Yeah...it...is....hmmm. What if I gave up extra work for a year? That's terrifying. What am I afraid of? Being alone with my thoughts? Nah. Boredom. And Tyra Banks, she's terrifying.
Self. Who am I really? Waffling between the conscious and unconscious world. It's scary. At peace, or at war inside. I suppose it's a choice. I want to breathe. That feels better. The silence is like a gift. Why do we even give presents? I don't need another candle, or gift card I'll lose. But, it is nice of people to remember. Even though half the time you know they are handing it to you thinking, "I got you something...it was an inconvenience."
Christmas shouldn't be an inconvenience. Maybe I should give it up. Can you give up a holiday? Or, I'll celebrate every day as Christmas, or maybe Thanksgiving. An excuse to be happy. And eat. The American way.
I don't need an excuse, this day is wonderful. Even the stupid reality TV show. I hear the snowplows drive by. People are cursing the roads and travel conditions. But, why? Complain about the long drive, or complain about staying home, you can't satisfy anyone really. It's not about pleasing the masses. It's about living with love. Do what you love. Fear is a learned condition. It's hard to grasp. Sharks are scary. But peaceful. Just like life, you can look at it two different ways.
How in the world did I get to sharks? It's still Christmas Eve, right? Do you think Santa is riding a holiday shark when the reindeer need a rest over the ocean? Sure, why not. He's real, I'm convinced. We should believe in everything like we believe in the big dude in the red suit. Blind faith. Trust. I trust you. My readers. With my secrets. And insanity. You are my holiday gift. My personal shrink.
Give me the remote, this show is ridiculous. Nah, just turn it off. Let's cuddle on the couch. Bring the cat, he needs attention, too. Happy Holidays, whatever you celebrate. It's all equal, it's all important. Just believe.

pure.

2009-12-23T21:16:00.002-06:00

Don't worry.
The flakes will fade, and ice will melt.
And in the end, the flowers will come back...they always do.
Until then, look out across the pristine white and remember, we all are allowed the same liberty as this landscape.
A fresh start.
In only an hour things looks so different, and you can do the same by simply changing the way you view your surroundings.
Who knows, if your approach shifts, maybe those things will finally yield the change you have been waiting for, impatiently.
Give it a try. Let it snow.

tardy.

2009-12-22T22:01:00.003-06:00

I plug on. Pushing over obstacles, and urging those who drag their feet to move, hurry up, or step aside.
It feels like it will never end. The daily grind of what surrounds us.
Then, I encounter that one person, you.
Offering an ounce of encouragement, and a sheepish smile.
"So sorry I'm late." You say.
But you aren't late. Kindness can never be tardy.
You are right on time, my friend.
Thank you.

envy.

2009-12-22T02:33:00.003-06:00

Opportunity knocks.
You slam the door, instead of welcoming it in for tea.

Wealth is at your feet, a penny at a time on the sidewalk.
Yet you walk by, dismissing the riches waiting to be found.

A homeless person, is begging for the roof you have over your head.
And still, I hear you curse the leaky faucet.

Someone right now, would do just about anything to have your life.
So, use it. Love it. Live it to the fullest.

Before it's taken away.

stone.

2009-12-21T01:45:00.003-06:00

I look at you...and am drawn in. Not sure what it is. The confidence, the way you carry yourself? Probably.
Yet, you are guarded. The type of person I can tell doesn't let others in easily. And it makes me wonder, what happened? Why the stiff stance, as if your limbs turn to stone when you are close to someone you obviously care about.
I want to shake you. Tell you to stop.
Please, let down the wall, before it's so high, even the sunlight can't touch you.

dried.

2009-12-19T15:55:00.005-06:00

I hear you complaining about being used.
The things you do, are generous-no doubt. But, would you rather be known as a martyr or a friend? If you don't respect yourself enough to know your limits, how do you expect others to?
So give, be kind, and help when you can. But please, don't forget to water your own stems. I'd hate to see your flowers lose their color, blooms lacking the strength to open. Take care of yourself, your vibrant petals are drooping, but it's not too late to nurse them back to life.
<3

luck

2009-12-17T00:55:00.002-06:00

You complain about everyone else having all the luck.
But if you weren't so busy worrying about the "other guys" you'd have time to see, you are the lucky one.

The day you stop allowing the opinions of others to rule your life, is the day you are free. To love, create, and enjoy life without anxiety, fear, or doubt.

Don't worry about what they think. Hell, don't even worry about what you think. Don't even think at all. Just be. Live. Now.

tough.

2009-12-16T04:18:00.003-06:00

One day I'll say it.
Yell it.
Scream it.

"Toughen up. Stop complaining...do something about it."

But today, is not that day.

Today, I just hug you-because I can tell your voice from within' is already deafening anything I scream, speak, or whisper.

Tomorrow we practice tough love.

But not before today's weakness makes us stronger.

silence.

2009-12-13T01:23:00.002-06:00

Some days are tougher than others. I just don't know what to tell ya. But, maybe that's good for a change. Because the silence has more insight than I can ever provide. After all, it's the pause before the final note of a song...that gives us time to really comprehend the lyrics.

p.s.

2009-12-11T03:31:00.002-06:00

My friend Iain is one of the best guys around. He's given me personal, and professional advice...and never once said "no" to a favor.
He inspires me to write what I feel on this blog, and on a creative level the way he thinks has pushed me to push myself at my job.
He has changed my life for the better. This is why I ask you, please read this letter from him. There isn't a more deserving person in the universe.
Lief (Afrikaans for "love" -again, a lesson from Iain)
E

pls read, then vote:
The Open Letter

<3

snow.

2009-12-09T01:08:00.003-06:00

The slippery white fluff may be a hazard, but to us it's a playground. A place to bask in a bright, pristine landscape...glowing bright in the middle of the night.

The power of those tiny little snowflakes, to turn darkness to day-is amazing. You have that same ability. Shine.

Break through the black during your delicate dance to the ground.

Your light will attract more flurries, and together you'll show us how different the world can really look, in a matter of moments.

It all starts with just one. You, snowflake. You.

drip.

2009-12-07T00:58:00.004-06:00

We talked about this before. Your drama faucet

You told me you had turned it off. But it's starting to leak.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

And I'm afraid the sound of the drops is drowning out the sound of my voice, as I try to bring you back.

Just breathe. Turn it off. Re-living the drama over and over isn't worth it. Because eventually the drips turn to a steady stream, and the stream turns into a waterfall.

I don't want to lose you to the current. This is not the person I know. Stay with me on the safe, calm shore. Here we can stare at our reflections and smile, instead of holding our heads underwater.

Stay dry.

wall.

2009-12-06T02:23:00.002-06:00

Come here, I have something to tell you. I'll put this as nicely as possible.

There is a difference between venting, and attracting additional drama into your life.

Is it really doing any good? Working yourself up, over and over?

While you are busy talking of wilted dreams and flowers...a life of peace, sunshine, and fulfillment is waiting quietly for you to claim it.

So, I will continue to listen, but hope you see the smiles worth living for, on the other side of the wall of rage.

shopping.

2009-12-04T15:59:00.003-06:00

No gift I could give you would capture your awesomeness.

So, why don't we just agree to exchange glances, hugs, and giggles?
The holiday three nobody should (or has to) go without.

I'll remind the universe to send you a thank you note for the smiles you are spreading.

leash.

2009-12-03T22:31:00.003-06:00

I know your bark is bigger than your bite, and more transparent than any cliche could ever be.

I'm not going to give up on you. I refuse. Instead, I sit. Ready for the fear to vanish. And when it does, I'll be here. Without a single scratch on my skin. Because my armor of present moment thinking made it possible to deflect your nips and snarls.

Yes, your ferocious facade will crumble.

Fear is your leash. It's up to you, to untie it.

grey.

2009-12-02T15:17:00.003-06:00

After awhile, the digging, hateful words you speak become gibberish. A foreign language to my ears. Brain, heart, and soul choosing not to process the ugly thoughts you throw.

If you are going to speak in colorful tones, at least make it sounds like a rainbow.

I see no pigment in your voice. Only grey, dreary fear.

When you are ready to explore the new chroma and hue of happiness, wake me up. Because right now I'm dreaming in color, and my heart refuses to compromise by flipping to black and white.

grip.

2009-12-01T13:29:00.003-06:00

I want to hold your hand.

Not to lead you astray or pull you down. Only to let you know, you aren't alone.

Your palms clammy, fingertips shaking. Why are you so afraid?

Breathe...listen to your breath, and feel the warmth of my hand. Let me help.

Because I'd never forgive myself if you slipped away.

The world needs you.

Hold on.

friendship.

2009-11-30T19:12:00.001-06:00

If you talked to your friends the way I hear you talk to yourself, you wouldn't have many people to pal around with.

You deserve to love yourself.

Start now.

training.

2009-11-29T19:06:00.004-06:00

"I wish...I...well, it's not fair. Just never goes my way...then you... make me feel. Ugh. It'll never happen. Why don't you just...?"

What? Why don't I just what? Stop encouraging you? Stop pushing?
Fine, I'll give it a rest. But remember this: life is a footrace to get to your dreams, and by the time you stop whining others will have a head start.

So, step up. Stop wallowing in the attempts of moments past. Strap on your sneakers, exchange complaining for training, and look towards the finish line.

Put one foot in front of the other. You'll get there. I promise.

Ready...set...?

Go.

stoplight.

2009-11-24T06:31:00.003-06:00

Speeding through the streets, rushing to get somewhere...anywhere.
Green.
Yellow.
Red.

Damn you, red. Always there, at the worst possible time. Or is it?

Maybe it's just the universe telling you to breathe. Take a look around. You're so hell bent on driving to this place we call the future, that you don't even realize-you first need to be content in the present.
Who knows, I might be standing in the crosswalk...asking for a ride. Together, we can find a direct way. To happy.

So, stop. Breathe. This moment is what you need.

It's not a stoplight. It's a pause for peace.

push.

2009-11-20T04:11:00.002-06:00

Ready to leap.
I approach, with confident steps...only to stop at the edge of the airplane door. My parachute firmly in tact, safety precautions in place. I pause, muscles ready to jump, and...
Nothing.
Breath leaves me, tears form. "I can't do it!" I cry.
I whip around hysterically to yell at the lot of you, "What if it doesn't open? My chute? Then it's over...I'll die!"
You step forward one by one, to hold my hands, brush my cheek, a force field against fear.
Whispering, "Is dying really the worst alternative? Or not living?" I open my mouth to answer, when suddenly I feel my balance shift.
I'm flying through the air.
You pushed me.
You PUSHED me when I told you not to.
How could you?
How...could...?
Wow.

I love you.

seeds

2009-11-17T00:40:00.003-06:00

The seeds of change are scattering.
New flowers popping up everywhere.
Beautiful.

This is your doing, you know.

By nurturing the blooms already in your life, it prompted buds to grow bigger batches of pollen to be harvested, filling the hummingbirds with joy. The little guys flutter their wings, talking to each other. Telling their garden pals what a wonderful caretaker you are.

Pretty soon, blossoms, trees, and bushes are popping up all on their own. Surprising you with colors nobody knew existed. So vivid.

This, is love. It acts as a magnet for good things. The more you tend to your garden the more it gives back to you.

I'm honored to be part of your creation. A friend flower.

order.

2009-11-14T23:20:00.003-06:00

The order is wrong. Again. Food steaming, along with your temper. Disgusted, you roll your eyes.

What. Are. You. Doing?

Is it worth it to allow something like this to ruin your evening? Stop acting as if the establishment has a personal agenda against you. Do you think they want to be bombarded with complaints and disdain?

Events don't determine happiness. It's how we react, that matters.

In the end, your food order isn't the problem. It's the order, or lack of...within. Accept. Now, see the bad feelings wash away.

Who knows, maybe the apologetic waitress used to be an Ad Exec, and lost her job. Or, the cook is preoccupied with his sick father's condition.

The next time you are quick to point the finger ask, "Am I reacting, or overreacting?" Who knows, a sympathetic smile could deliver a free dessert... of happiness, with a cherry on top.

mud

2009-11-10T00:42:00.004-06:00

Those flowers...in the distance, they will make you happy, eh? Now, explain this to me. If your happiness is over there, waiting-why in the world are you standing here, instead?

Yes, I see the hill. It's a tough trek. Mud in the way, making progress slow.

But friend, in the end, which option is really the hardest?

1. Making the tiresome journey, but finally smelling those bright blooms, the ones calling you all these years. Filling your heart with accomplishment, love, and strength.

Or,

2. Living your entire life wondering what those vibrant colors feel like in your fingers, wishing you could drink in their scent of warmth and merriment. Always feeling an emptiness of the unknown.

The excuses you make are only preventing the true joy you deserve. Who cares if in the end, flowers fade? Savor the feelings and keep them forever, use them to guide you towards new gardens, paths, and prairies full of promise.

Flowers fueling your fire.

Who cares about a little mud?

bullets.

2009-11-06T12:27:00.004-06:00

You poke and prod and attempt to stamp your brand on everyone who stands in your way.

They yell in pain and retaliate against the burning phrase and ideals you force upon them. I hear your screams at them, "I'm right here. This is the right path, this is my path so it must be right!" Like a child. Tantrum.

But is it the "right" road, just because you say so? Or does the fear of walking alone mean denying others their freedom to choose which way to step? I know it hurts to see them inflict close-minded pain unto others. But, by hurting them...it alienates them to change.

Stop firing bullets of hatred at those you say are causing the trouble. They can't hear you with the assault overwhelming their senses.

Be calm. A reflecting pool of love for them to learn from. By example.

After all, we'll all end up in the same field of forever...some will just take longer to open their hearts to acceptance.

flight.

2009-11-05T09:39:00.005-06:00

You. A fountain of smiles and pool of energy. Constantly showing eyes of compassion and the embrace of strength to others. Reassuring them, the future will happen...no use forcing life into fast-forward.

Putting your hands on my shoulders you speak in an even tone, "It will happen. I have no doubts. You will do this."

Your words work magic and lift me up. By the time we are finished, I feel my feet leaving the ground. High on the taste of your friendship.

Wait, why are you still on solid ground? Come up here with me. You did this. You helped me see my true self.

I notice your defeated smile. Empty eyes. How did I miss it? I've allowed the kind words to blind me to the most important thing. You.

After all, you weren't really talking to me...were you? You were talking yourself into something great. But, lacked the faith to strap on those wings. Please, look in the mirror...utter that magic spell again. I only wish you treated yourself as well as you treat your friend.

begging.

2009-11-02T00:26:00.003-06:00

It's come to this.
I'm begging.

Please don't keep your gift inside any longer. Your insecurity is selfish. Depriving others of the inspiration they need. Somewhere out there, a person is waiting for you to spark a blaze within them.

Your message of love throwing the unconscious thinkers off balance, but only at first. Dizzy, spinning, nearly out of control. Blindsided by burning love. Don't worry, the warm feeling will compensate for brief confusion. Wrapping them in a blanket of comfort and passion.

Then, a whisper...

"Thank you."

Because your action gives them hope. To try. To share. To live.

soldier.

2009-10-30T01:27:00.005-05:00

The cold outside is no match for your desire fire, burning deep.

The chaos around you can't compete with calmness within.

And the naysayers and dream killers are no match for your starry eyes, determined smile, and soul...in this moment.

Soldiers for the surreal, we are. Warriors, for freedom.

Off to a combat in the clouds, where guns fire fairy dust and bombs blow our minds with ideas of inspiration.

One by one, the militia will follow. You leading the charge.

Bringing your faithful following closer to the light of good.

Step up. I know you can do it.

Share your strategy. Move us to act.

March.

race.

2009-10-28T19:29:00.004-05:00

I've heard your cries of martyrdom. The tireless mouth vomit of ways you've been wronged. Shoulders hunched due to this burden you constantly speak of.

Listen to me.

The world...is...not...out...to...get...you.

I repeat, the world is not out to get you.

I mean, let's be honest, the man/woman/being/spirit/whathaveyou upstairs has better things to do than plan ways to make your life horrible. ;-)

Challenging circumstances are simply steps in the staircase of life. You can do one of two things. 1. Pick yourself up, push on and get to the top sooner rather than later. or, 2. Step up and down on the stair giving you trouble, over and over. Refusing to accept your lack of forward movement...even though everyone can see you are simply spinning your wheels.

It's all about choice. Now, let's go. You and me.

Race you to the top?

star.

2009-10-25T22:21:00.004-05:00

Your dreams have suffocated, before being given the chance to leave your lips. I can see them behind your eyes,screaming to be heard.

What are you afraid of? They are your thoughts, and belong to you...nobody can rob you of them, unless you allow it.

So, stand up. Open your mouth. And speak the song of inspiration. Not for me, or mom, or dad...your friends or foe. But for yourself.

Once the birds, trees, and flowers hear your plans...they'll sigh with delight...blooms opening and branches waving in applause. For, what was once but a thought, is now spoken word. Real. And within' your means to accomplish.

Now feel the freedom of your announcement propel you to new heights.

I'll see you among the planets and moons...for you are, and always will be, my favorite star.

cloudy.

2009-10-22T04:19:00.005-05:00

My eyes mist over and I realize the droplets of dew will come, either way. Fight them, or force them...it's no longer my choice.

The downpour drowning my cheeks.

Finally, I let go.

But, am I saying farewell to the real you? Or just a facade you gave me to get what you want?

Either way.

I hope after you are washed downstream, flipping through the current, you will come to rest along the shore without injury.

Breathing in air as if it's the first time you've really noticed it. Eyes opening to see the world for what it really is. A place where flowers and fawns don't owe you any favors...but will allow you a whiff of happiness if you offer protection and kindness.

So, maybe we'll meet again...when you've shed this skin you've trapped yourself in. The one keeping you underwater. I'll look for you, always. Please wave when you see me...it's hard to see through clouded eyes.

join

2009-10-18T13:01:00.004-05:00

You and I talk about the "I wish," "What ifs," and "If onlys."

Not anymore.

Today, we make it happen. Because we can.

Using our superpowers to dominate the world in goodness, helping others to walk on mountains and move water. Because the cliche things super heroes do are beneath us now. We can offer something more. Bigger.

Not because we are greedy, but because we are capable.

Not because we need recognition, but because others do.

Not because we are wearing capes and tights, but because our jeans and t.shirts are the costume of change.

Not because we need to do something of epic proportions, but because the little things will morph into masses of action...pulling us along for the ride.

You and I, joining together. To save the day.

rise

2009-10-15T02:53:00.005-05:00

Don't let it end.
This day.

And poof. It did.

But the feeling remains. This warm glow within, causing me and you to puke rainbows and dance with the butterflies and hummingbirds.

It stays because time doesn't even exist in this fairytale land. Here, a handful of us are dodging the darkness emitted from those sad, angry people who call themselves friends.

Maybe they believe they are showing love. Even when they spit fire. We don't hear their vengeful words directly, but the warmth of the flames licks our backs...and we know.

Our wings protect us. Lift us up, over this land of hills and treacherous trenches. Smooth flying, untouchable.

For we've found this mecca on our own...and nothing anyone can say, will ever take it away from us. Here in our hearts. We know...we must stay and protect, or risk losing it all.

:-)

2009-10-14T06:58:00.003-05:00

Recently, I had the privilege of bringing together 4 of the most inspiring people I know.
This is what happened when their great minds formed a collaboration across continents, dreams, words, and music. I'm so humbled to have played an extremely small role. I know this isn't usually the type of thing I write about...but I hope this brings you happiness. I feel like crying I'm so ecstatic. Enjoy.

pretend.

2009-10-12T21:00:00.002-05:00

Some days the smiles just aren't there. The expression doesn't quite make it to your eyes, and I know you are faking a moment of happiness just to maintain control.

Thank you.

Because sometimes, that's all I need...just a half grin to hold on to, one person in this world refusing to wear a scowl. Fighting fear. Refusing to take the easy way out.

You are a light. And even if today you are pretending, know this...you saved me from myself with the small effort you made.

Eventually your upturned lips will trick your heart into finding hope. I've witnessed this before. So, fake it at first. But know eventually the character you play will come to life.

chapter.

2009-10-09T01:57:00.003-05:00

Today, believe you can do it.
I'm sick of seeing you defeat yourself before you even get started.
So...here is the task.
Write your life as if it's a bestselling novel, and the rights are already sold to the publisher. No turning back, no second guessing. Just pages of power, all in your hands. Flowing out of your pen, effortlessly. For when you analyze, re-think, over think, and dismiss the ideas before you even get them in writing...it's like burning a perfectly good story before anyone even gets the chance to read it.
What a shame. Someone needs those words...you need those words.
Trust yourself.
Go for it.
Be heard.

bear...

2009-10-07T23:26:00.000-05:00

hugs.

(one size fits all)

:-)

faucet.

2009-10-07T00:43:00.000-05:00

...and in the end, you're right.

I'm choosing to live this way.

Initially swept up in madness, but then volunteering for it over and over again.

This has gone on long enough.

The water is rushing so hard now I feel as if my body is being pulled under in the current of hard feelings, ego driven grudges, and living in the past.

I twist the knob quickly, stopping the flow.

Off.

Wow, it was that easy.

My drama faucet, without the water rushing through it has no power over the sounds in my mind.

All I hear now, is beautiful silence. And a drip....reminding me of the turmoil I choose not to re-visit.

I choose. You choose. And together, our outcome is peaceful, without judgement, argument, or conflict.

I like this new life. The water running over my thoughts was making me shiver anyway.

Now I'm warm and dry.

On the beach of beautiful silence.

rain.

2009-10-02T05:26:00.000-05:00

You say hippie...I say happy.

You say weird...I say wow.

You roll your eyes...I open mine.

Maybe someday you'll understand.

I hope so.

Because living under your negativity umbrella has only been shielding you from the sun already shining on your soul.

eyes.

2009-09-30T06:12:00.000-05:00

...and today, it's more important than any other day for you to open your eyes. Right now, this moment.

See.

No, don't just look.

See.

I'm not talking about gazing at physical objects. Stop being so literal. You are surrounded by positive energy everywhere you look, but you allow your mind to cloud your vision. Blinding you.

Stop listening to that crazy voice in your head, start feeling with your heart.

Otherwise you'll completely miss the point.

Of life.

And how bright and hopeful it really is.

So, see. Today. Or take the gamble of losing your sight, before you've even used it.

numb.

2009-09-24T23:28:00.000-05:00

Today was a departure.

My smile faded and was replaced with a blank stare. Eyes refusing to focus. Heart racing, yet the world seemed in slow motion. Nothing processed. I felt drunk on the feeling of being numb.

No drugs. No booze. No pills or medications.

Just my mind. Putting me in a place where feeling didn't exist.

Until it did. And it wasn't in a good way.

Tears were coming, in my confusion. What the heck was going on?

Breathe...I whispered to myself. To you, because I could tell by the look on your face you felt the same way...eyes frozen in panic.

"What is wrong with us?" You ask. "We are the happy ones. The conscious thinkers...we think of ourselves as enlightened. We aren't supposed to feel this confusion, this sense of emptiness and worry."

I sigh, and firmly say, "Yes, yes we are supposed to feel it."

"How could that be? I thought we were past this hurdle of unhappiness long ago?" You whisper with wide eyes.

"Calm down...it's just a reminder."

"A reminder of what?"

I sit...head in my hands and pause to look up at you.

"A reminder, of why we choose to live in the Now. A conscious life. To acknowledge the fear, and instead of allowing it to rule our lives...learn to give all of our energy to it, then let it go without looking back. To feel the bad feelings so we remember how good the positive ones really are for our souls. To know why a smile feels so good...because a frown feels foreign."

You sit by me. "So, what do we do now?"

My eyes meet yours. "Well, friend. Now, we breathe again...for we've acknowledged the pain and confusion. We've allowed it to take it's course. But now we control it. Not the other way around. It's our choice to let it go. To choose hope. It's only a test. And by enduring it, but not allowing those feelings of dread, negativity, and anxiety to linger...we've passed with flying colors."

So smile. Some moments are hard for everyone. Even I. The important thing is to acknowledge it...and continue to look for the good. Don't concentrate so hard on the sadness that you close your eyes to the good around you. It's over. Let it go. Stop holding your breath.

Now.

drive.

2009-09-21T10:50:00.000-05:00

As luck would have it, I ran into you. It may have been an accident, but I'm pretty sure fate had a hand.

Now, you are helping me create a reality where I am the driver, prophet, and navigator of my own soul.

Funny (or maybe not), I never knew it was this easy.

Before I always thought I was "unlucky." Now, looking in the rear view mirror I see those experiences have led me to this life. An awesome life.

So, nothing that happens is "bad" or "good." It just is. Who knows, the horrible failure may lead to a glorious new path.

OK...stop writing my thoughts off as crazy religious talk, that's not where I'm going with this at all. Just because I use words like path, glorious, and prophet doesn't mean I'm planning to shove Jesus down your throat. That would hurt like hell.

All I'm asking, is for you to trust yourself. Your life. Where it's headed. When you accept the situation, things are easier. Don't get me wrong, I don't want you to give up. Just acknowledge what's happening, and stop judging it before you know the full extent of the direction it's pointing you. Before you create unnecessary drama and pain.

Whether it's a bumpy road or a smooth ride, the highway of life will lead us if we want it to or not. And while you are looking in the mirror at tailgaters, you're missing the magnificent view on the horizon.

holy...huh?

2009-09-14T22:31:00.000-05:00

Today I found out Jesus Christ, otherwise known as @imthesongofgod is now following me on twitter.

I was surprised, because even though I'm a spiritual person...I don't consider myself all that religious.

Could this be a hoax? Maybe. Maybe not. I'm a little freaked because "He" is only following 19 people right now. Random folks from all over: Canada, Florida, etc...

Perhaps Jesus loves the internet and realizes that we aren't seeing the signs he's giving us anymore and wants to actually put them into 140 character form?

So. My question to you is this. What do you think Jesus would tweet. (or WILL tweet, if it's really him?)
---

Some of the things I think he'd say are as follows:

"Stop talking about me. You say "Jesus" all of the time, then I think you need something, and really you're just being sarcastic."

"You have nothing to be afraid of...including me."

"Let go. By holding on to grudges and hard feelings, you are suffocating yourself and your creative potential."

"Yes, you can wear plaid and stripes. Go for it."

"You are full of awesome. Start acting like it."

"Saying you are Christian because you go to church is like saying you are a horse just because you are standing in a barn."

"I love everyone...everything. Even big bangs and scrunchies, stop judging."

"Just because another religion refers to a higher power by a different name, doesn't mean you need to persecute them. Love."

"Tag. You're it. I love you...pass it on."
---

What do you think he'd say? Ready...?
GO.

waste.

2009-09-13T13:38:00.000-05:00

I'm going to be stern with you, just this once. It's nothing personal, or maybe it is.

Here goes.

Shut up.

Shut up. Shut up. Shut...UP.

You spend the day making excuses complaining about life and how it's done you wrong. What's the point? You are wasting time, and your talent. Instead of using your breath on those negative words and remaining a victim, do something about it. Those past experiences don't define the limits of what you can accomplish.

You.

Are.

Amazing.

With your talent, you could inspire the neighborhood, city, world. Why don't you?

Someone out there is hanging by a thread, waiting for the right words, song, lyrics, painting, novel, and actions to bring them back from the brink-and you have that capability. That amazing power.

So, stop wasting time.

Do you want to be known as the person who didn't...or the person who did it?

Tick tock. ;-)

hero.

2009-09-08T00:16:00.000-05:00

It never fails.

Just when I've given up...you step back in and sweep me off my feet.

Funny thing is, you were ready and willing to be my champion this entire time. I just didn't think I deserved it, and locked the doors to keep you away.

Through stubborn silence you pushed on. Never wavering, waiting until just the right moment to take me by surprise, guard down. Met by resistance, your gentle nature a sword piercing my resolve.

Yes, these are tears.

Of joy.

Because once again, you showed me:

I'm worth crying over.

I'm worth sleepless nights.

I'm worth...loving.

No matter what.

These tears of happiness, are for you.

My hero.

reunion.

2009-09-05T01:44:00.000-05:00

Take: time.

Give: love.

Savor: stillness.

Accept: peace.

Resist: nothing.

Because when you allow all of these things to happen...your dreams will tap you on the shoulder, sigh like an old friend, give you a hug and say, "I've been here...but you're mind has been clouded with so much other junk, justification, cynicism, and chaos you haven't been able to see me until now."

After all, dreams are friendly. They want you to find them.

;-)

dance.

2009-08-31T23:53:00.000-05:00

I'm happy to say this is a true story.
:-)

Tonight I was walking back from dinner break with a co-worker, when we spotted a man dancing down the street. In the middle of downtown, mind you.

My first thought was, "Ahhhhh yes, another homeless person. On drugs."

Then, I took time to really look.

The man was dancing to the beat of his ipod. An interpretive dance. Twirling around. With a huge grin on his face. Was he trained? No. This was obvious. But, what he was doing was no less beautiful than the perfect lines of a trained ballerina.

We passed him.

I looked around.

People were staring. With a variety of reactions. Some smiled. Others pointed in laughter, their eyes clouded by something....fear. They may mask it as sarcasm or poking fun, but really it's just fear of happiness. They are intimidated by the bravado of this man. Envy glistens behind their eyes. Wishing they could join him, but instead...mocking.

We walk on.

There are more of them! Dancing individuals. Of different ages, sizes, abilities.

I think to myself, "Hmm....must be some kind of acting class."

We pause, looking to unravel the mystery, stopping a female dancer in street clothes. This woman is actually sporting an old fashioned walkman. She is young, probably mid twenties. But has wisdom and joy written all over her face.

My co-worker says with a smile, "Hello. We were just wondering what this is all about?"

The woman just nods. Taking her headphones off, never stopping her movements.

Again my companion says, "No really...like, is this just for fun? Why all the dancing?"

Smiling, the dancer puts her headphones back on and starts to backpedal away...a graceful action. With a glint in her eye she says,

"Do you feel it too?"

We are left stunned. But smiling.

So, I guess that's the question....do you feel it?

Then, dance.