numb.

Today was a departure.

My smile faded and was replaced with a blank stare. Eyes refusing to focus. Heart racing, yet the world seemed in slow motion. Nothing processed. I felt drunk on the feeling of being numb.

No drugs. No booze. No pills or medications.

Just my mind. Putting me in a place where feeling didn't exist.

Until it did. And it wasn't in a good way.

Tears were coming, in my confusion. What the heck was going on?

Breathe...I whispered to myself. To you, because I could tell by the look on your face you felt the same way...eyes frozen in panic.

"What is wrong with us?" You ask. "We are the happy ones. The conscious thinkers...we think of ourselves as enlightened. We aren't supposed to feel this confusion, this sense of emptiness and worry."

I sigh, and firmly say, "Yes, yes we are supposed to feel it."

"How could that be? I thought we were past this hurdle of unhappiness long ago?" You whisper with wide eyes.

"Calm down...it's just a reminder."

"A reminder of what?"

I sit...head in my hands and pause to look up at you.

"A reminder, of why we choose to live in the Now. A conscious life. To acknowledge the fear, and instead of allowing it to rule our lives...learn to give all of our energy to it, then let it go without looking back. To feel the bad feelings so we remember how good the positive ones really are for our souls. To know why a smile feels so good...because a frown feels foreign."

You sit by me. "So, what do we do now?"

My eyes meet yours. "Well, friend. Now, we breathe again...for we've acknowledged the pain and confusion. We've allowed it to take it's course. But now we control it. Not the other way around. It's our choice to let it go. To choose hope. It's only a test. And by enduring it, but not allowing those feelings of dread, negativity, and anxiety to linger...we've passed with flying colors."

So smile. Some moments are hard for everyone. Even I. The important thing is to acknowledge it...and continue to look for the good. Don't concentrate so hard on the sadness that you close your eyes to the good around you. It's over. Let it go. Stop holding your breath.

Now.