disaster.

And we watch it all unfold from afar. The cries, devastation, and tragedy. It's like a horror movie, with characters as real as you and me. A mother grieving for a lost child, father searching for his wife, friends hoping to find their missing pets...the innocent animals who complete them.

And we forget that the actions we take half a world away, are not helping. Our complaining about coverage and rants about destruction, aid not one person.

We say we wish would could help, yet we sit in front of our TV's with lunch on our lap...turning the images off once we feel uncomfortable. We have food, electricity, and love...and the means to give these things back to the people we watch for entertainment. And forget, that giving up our dinner for a few days...could make all of the difference.

But, in the end if you don't want to talk about money or need, then at least talk about charity from your soul. Fill your heart with compassion, reach out, and let the survivors know you care about them, not about the "stupid" things media do, or what government isn't.

After all, the quakes, shakes and giant waves of fear are here to do one thing. To remind us to love each other.

equation.

"I'll never be happy."

"Things don't go my way."

"I just want a sign things will work out."

You want a sign? Here ya go. This simple blog entry found you today, didn't it? Allow me to hit you over the head with this you seek.

Life, is good. Challenging? Yes. But, good. Often times we are so busy complaining about what is going wrong, we don't take time to acknowledge the dozens, no, hundreds of things going any given day.

So, take time to count your blessings, see how they add up. Crunch the numbers. Do this daily, and you won't have time to subtract from your happiness with the negative thoughts.

That, my friend...is the math lesson of life, we so easily forget. An equation for puking rainbows.

<3

listen.

All day long you talk about how you are listening. Yet, you speak about it so much...I don't think the world has a chance to get a word in edgewise.

With things like radio, tv, video games, and unicorns to dream about, it's amazing you even have a chance to think, let alone listen.

So, at what point will you break? Realize it's all just too much? Your mind and heart caving in from the stimulant torture. We call these things luxuries, as they provide us an escape from ourselves. An excuse not to face orders from higher up, favors for friends, or the music in the speakers(reminding us of memories, a plethora of them bad).

Going, going, going...thoughts reeling. Like a merry-go-round of words, spinning until you are physically ill.

There is a solution, you know. Turn it off. No, not life...the unnecessary static. Turn your dial to a frequency of necessity, not want. Now, drive. Not thinking about the past or future, but instead taking in every single sound on your journey for what it is, breathtaking. You'll find beauty and peace right here, right now. Breathing in, and out. The sound of the road bringing you closer to presence.

A light through the pane, or in some cases...pain. A window of escape, as long as you look for it. Right here. In the moment.

<3

answer.

A small break this Monday morning(formal writing will continue again tomorrow). *Those who have been reading for awhile, know I do this from time to time to talk about friends, influences, music (Dan and Cole), etc... Also, I just wanted to clear something up I've been getting a lot of questions about.

A lot of you have been asking about my link on the left side of the page to "I Wrote This For You." Q. Why I link to it, who writes it, etc...

Well, I link to it because I dig the writing style. And, as far as the author, I'm not exactly sure. But, after looking around...this is the only info I could find:

I Wrote This For You is written by two lovers who respond to each other only through the blog as a way to hide their romance. Collectively, they refer to themselves as Iain Thomas, a character based on a friend they met while traveling in Africa, although sometimes they also refer to themselves as Jon Ellis, whom, it is assumed, is also a character based on a friend.

This was revealed in phone-in television interview on National Singaporean Television in December of 2009.


(As you were, back to normal/happy entries again tomm) <3
E

highway.

I've been watching you, for awhile now. Talking yourself in and out of the trip we both know you must take.

Sitting in the vehicle meant to conquer your dreams, revving the engine. Your tank so full of desire, it's overflowing with fuel for the future.

Dammit, take your foot off the brake.

I know goodbye is hard, but saying hello to a new destiny will make up for it, I promise. The road may look long, but the longer you sit here, the more gas you are wasting. Why risk running on fumes, when you have more then enough energy to make it if you go now?

This is your highway to happiness. What are you waiting for? Drive.

bloom.

I can see your tiny body, standing steadfast and strong. Like a flower fighting against the wind to stay upright.

Just remember sometimes it's OK. To be afraid of that powerful breeze. The other meadow residents won't blame you for allowing your stem to sway.

The buds and blooms around you have been a witness to your resilience before. This may be the first time the pests have attacked your core, but not the first fight you've led against something unfamiliar.

So, little flower...please listen. Realize, YOU are more than just your hardships and hurdles, more than the insects that take your strength. You are a beautiful bud, ready to open. As if to say, "Damn you wind, pests, and fury of nature...I will battle to bloom, and you can't stand in my way."

~~~
stay strong, friend.
-e <3

love.

I hate to tell you this, but you've got it all wrong. Love is free. It's not about flowers, chocolates, cards, and diamonds. It's about special glances, laughter, kisses, and stolen moments. The message I give you may seem confusing at first, but stick with me.

Please take this as a compliment when I say, you don't complete me. I complete myself. Emptiness cannot be filled by another person. It's like sitting a full glass of water next to a partially empty one. They may be closer together now, but one is still empty, and if a glass gives another the liquid it holds, now all you have is two, half full. Nobody is satisfied.

So, satisfy your own thirst, a brimming glass will run over, plenty of love flowing for all. Don't get me wrong, by this I don't mean to be selfish. Just to realize, you are complete no matter who is, or isn't at your side.

Stop looking for someone to fill the hole. Be whole in life on your own, you have that power. Then, seek a lover and partner brimming with awesome, just as you are. Someone who can afford to give, and won't go emotionally bankrupt, because they are also rich with joy.

Companions in completeness. :-)


---

ps. I love you, honey. <3

storm.

Love is what a rainbow sounds like, when it refuses to fear the storm.

And you, my friend...are the pot of gold I'm trying so damn hard to get to.

You are the prize, riches beyond my craziest fantasies. It's too bad you only see yourself as a puddle, abandoned by the rain.

Look again. You reflect the sky. And the sun. Dammit...you practically radiate threads of golden light. See yourself, for the beautiful soul you really are.

Your gift to me is a different view of the world, a portrait of perspective more vital than air. So, sit here...as I breathe in your warmth. We'll make it through another storm together.

<3

dark.

You wake from a nightmare, frantic, panicked. But, it wasn't a dream...this is real life. You begin to cry, and want out, as quickly as possible. But, still you see nothing. Only darkness.

Something more is out there. Warmth. Comfort. You feel it, radiating. So close, yet out of sight.

Screaming, "Help me!" You reach out in frustration, hoping your hand will touch something real. To bring you back.

Frustrated and full of fear, you sit with your face in your hands, sobbing. Feeling the tears stream between fingertips.

Then, you blink.

A flicker of light.

You blink again. Faster, willing the drops of salty water to leave your vision.

Everything is clear again. Every damn thing. Beautiful. New. Full of life.

You were so panicked and afraid of what was out there, so stuck in your land of nightmares...you didn't even realize, your eyes were closed. The dark prison where you were trapped, was all in your head.

So, open those beautiful eyes. Consciously use them to see good around you. The moment you stop looking for light, darkness will cover your eyes again.

Seek the radiant rays as a road map, and you'll never be lost, alone, or blind with fear.

<3

~~~

contagious.

I know it's cliche to say "I know how you feel" so I'll just shut up for a second. Because I know, right now you don't want to hear how happy things will be down the road. You want to feel the pain, because it brings you to life. It reminds you, you are human.

I offer to listen, but you don't crave a silent ear. You want someone who will feed the drama. Tell you how you've been wronged.

Well, you've come to the wrong person. I won't do that. Fuel the fighting.

Why?

Because it doesn't help. It drags you back to that horrible place of anger and resentment, once again. That bitter block of time, in the past. Ruining a perfectly good moment in the present.

So, excuse me if I feel my stomach churning, and if without thinking I puke a rainbow on you. I'm a carrier of consciousness. Keep me around, and you'll catch it.

The sensation may seem strange at first, almost foreign. But, believe me, if being infected feels this great...I don't ever want to go back to being normal. Happiness is here. Contagious.

monday.

And you say you'll wait 'til Monday. That weekends are for recovering.

Recovering? From what? The job draining the life from you? The meetings you can hardly sit through? The classes you are only taking out of obligation for what you "should" be doing with your life?

I hear you talk about these things, sucking the passion from your heart...yet you aren't willing to do anything about it? C'mon friend, you deserve more.

Take one second to look me in the eyes and listen. Please. Hear me out. If you work towards your dream now, maybe you won't have the DESIRE to "recover" on the weekends. Ever thought of it that way? An existence with satisfaction, everyday of the week.

Flowers grow, every single day. A day off from reaching towards the sun would mean dry roots, and droopy blooms.

Your soul doesn't take Saturdays off. Satisfy it.

<3

sleep.

You say you're "tired of it all." Yet, you drag yourself through life like a zombie...repeating the same dance, day after day.

You say, "Someday I'll do it. Go after that dream." But, your "some days" are turning into today, and they'll soon become tomorrow's past, which is yesterday, then you realize in panic:

Poof. They're gone forever.

So, wake up. Right now. Be your dream, while you are conscious. Create your fate, while you can still see. Make it a reality, while you still have the ability to "do." Or, risk waking up to a feeling of despair, and a blank book of "what ifs."

Fill the pages. Live. Regrets don't exist here. Only lessons. Beautiful, living, breathing life lessons.

<3

~~~