return.

It's time to come back, face the facts. A dose of reality with a dash of honesty is the cure. You can pretend all you want, but you just hurt yourself. For we know the false security, is simple a facade.

So, open up, break down. Love. Hate. Scream. Laugh. Throw things. Hug things. Write things. Sing things. Feel. Now.

Just don't wait.

You have to live, today.

Or risk being numb, for good.

scars.

You held me down, and I fought you off. I thought I had won, that I was OK. Others had been through worse, right? I was one of the lucky ones.

But, the scars you left weren't physical at all. It was more than that. A suggestion that my appearance could attract such force.

Well, that's it. This ends now. I'm ready to heal. Face the fear.

Your strong hands have no power over me now, because I'm taking my life back. Even though I didn't realize until recently, I had ever lost it.

I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe.

I'll repeat the phrase until I truly believe it, knowing those who surround me now are right about the fact that I deserve a fulfilled life. For the outside to match the inside.

No more hiding behind these extra layers of security.

I will be free.

overcast.

What you say reels me in. Every time. The kind eyes don't hurt, either. But in the end, it's your soul that makes me want to stay. All day, everyday...radiating love like tiny beams of sunshine, no matter what clouds are following me-lurking in the past.

I wish I would have had you there before, on those overcast nights. The pain we share now is merely a faint memory of what once was. But, witnessing this sunrise of ideas, passion, and love...makes everything warm and worth it.

Thank you.

ps.

I know you have the spirit to fight this, the will to survive, and the heart to show everyone how it's done. You can't give up, I won't let you. Let's get healthy together. I love you more than you could ever know. The battle starts now. A quest for a new way of life, better than we ever imagined. Together, we will show the world our united strength.

Erica

ps. please include your own "ps" comment---this letter is for my grandpa bob, you can write the ps to him, or your own grandparent/friend/relative you are pulling for. Oh, and write where u r from if u can. Thank you.

me.

I am not an amazing person.
But I do believe one person is capable of amazing things.

I am not better than anyone.
But I do want to be better than I was yesterday.

I am not always nice, inspiring, or friendly.
But I do believe the more I try to be, the easier it gets.

I do not care more than others do.
But I do think accomplishing a little, sure beats wishing for a lot.

I refuse to concentrate on despair, how we ignore what we can't see.
But I know by standing up, my visibility will give a voice to those in the shadows.

I am not an army of millions with expensive gear and guns to fight.
But I am a soldier of service, with water...more powerful than weapons.

This battle is not over.

clear.

You talk about the past constantly. Wallowing in the quicksand of "what ifs."

When you tire of looking over your shoulder, you spend the rest of the day panicked with talk of tomorrow. The fog of anxiety making it impossible to think rationally.

Well, you forgot about something.

Right now.

If you continue the worry, anticipation, and regret...your mind won't have time for this moment. The magical chance to do something, to make a difference. It'll be so clouded you won't be able to see the opportunities standing right in front of you.

Stop complaining about the past. Stop worrying about the future. Open your eyes. It's killing me to see the suffering you put yourself through, by re-living torturous moments beyond your control.

The good news is this: happiness is here.

Now.

:-)

gifts.

Did you know it's your birthday?
No, really-I'm not joking.

You don't need presents, chocolates, jewelry, and stacks of cards you'll throw away. You need people, connections, air, water...and those are things that show up as gifts to you each morning.

Give yourself more than one day a year to be happy.

Stop waiting for the candles on your cake to light your way, instead, be the spark creating a glow in others.

Happy birthday to you. Because that's exactly what it is...the birth of a new day.

Leave the grudges, regrets, and faded wrapping paper behind.

There is no gift that can compare to living in the present. And by living, I mean truly living. Not just existing.

It's your big day.

Now, make a wish...and turn it into reality.

shutdown.

The computer crashed, restart.
The followers are gone, panic.
The stoplight is red, hit the steering wheel and shout.

Now, stop.

Maybe it's just the universe telling you to put your life on pause, be centered, and refocus. For a few seconds. Minutes if you're lucky. A forced break from the rush. Take advantage of it.

payment.

I read what you wrote the other day, it gave me something to think about.

"I can't afford this.
I would do that, if I had money.
I can't make enough doing what I love."

Money? Maybe not. But, at least you'll be truly wealthy. By paying yourself in passion, you reap the rewards of a gratifying existence.

I can see the purpose cash is serving. Buying things causing resentment over the daily grind. That's no way to live. With a twinge of anger in your heart, constantly. It's not worth it.

Because, in the end...we don't take money with us. But, we can leave love as a gift to those still here.

Give me penniless over passionless, any day.

Good luck friend, be rich.

fly.

Unhappy?

Stop waiting for people to rescue you. This time put on the cape and tights and rescue yourself for a change.

Create the life you want.

Be a hero.

Fly above the confusion and crap. The whining, the excuses, the pity parties.

Because you deserve better.

But first you need to believe you do.

lies.

It's painful to see you lying to yourself. Saying there is nothing left to do to make things better or right. You know these words are poison, don't you?

It's simple, really. Just believe in yourself the same way your friends and family believe in you, the same way I believe in you. If you have to fake it at first, so be it. But, one day what feels like fiction will turn to fact, your brain and heart will agree on three things.

You are worth it.

You make a difference.

You touch others.

One thought, one act, and one friendship at a time.

force.

Passionate intention.

It's a magical thing.

I see your love for what you do, and it makes me want to act, to help, to inspire.

Yet, lately the feeling has shifted...and now your egoic mind is working against the mission. How? Because I've heard you. Say, "I'll show 'em. I'll succeed, and then they'll eat their words."

True, sometimes disdain can be turned into fire to fuel passions inside. But, if you allow the anger to drive your desire to succeed, what is left when the person you wish to prove wrong doesn't notice?

Act. Because you feel compelled.

Push. Because passion drives you to.

And use love as the driving force. Because people can tell if your motives are pure, or tainted by resentment and revenge.

Intention attracts. Be careful, friend. Make sure you are being a magnet for what you truly want in your life.

<3

fear

Fear is running circles around you.
Tricking you into thinking this is all you are capable of. This is what you are destined to do, chained to this mundane situation you call life.

Ya know what? Forget being afraid. It doesn't accomplish anything.
For once, just once...I want to see love win this battle. Love of yourself, your strengths, your passions.

Are you truly living, or simply existing...think long and hard before you answer. It doesn't "have" to be this way. Change it. Overcome. Give yourself a life of love, fueled by a love of life.

C'mon friend...what are you waiting for? No, really. Stop reading and go for it. You owe yourself that much, at least.

Now.

walking.

The temperature outside matches the new warmth my heart is feeling lately.

You did this, you know. With a few steps. Creating big shoes to fill, and challenging everyone to see if they fit. You reminded me what it's like to be truly passionate. With a few words, summoning a fire I forgot existed beneath the surface.

A blaze of brave thoughts. Not about love in the romantic sense. But, about how that beautiful four letter word can move others to take action.

An intense need to care.

About people. A cause. A mission.

To be in love, with life.

So, don't sit still just yet. Your trek isn't done. Keep walking the walk. Because talk is only that.

Do what you do best. Lead us. We're ready.

rain.

You sit in the downpour, allowing the drops to dampen your spirit.

But, why? When the rain comes, do something.

Grab your umbrella of change, create a safe place for yourself.

If life wants to soak you to the bone, you have to allow it to do so...you are resourceful enough to find shelter, so stop standing there.

Dry yourself off, and start fresh.

The drops are encouraging you to grow, not asking you to drown in martyrdom.

Learn from the storm, instead of cursing it. If you move quickly enough, you'll see the rainbow in the distance.

<3

look

It's OK to have a bad day...as long as it doesn't turn into a bad week or month. Being down doesn't deserve that much time in your daily schedule.

If you think about it, most of the time it's not even necessary to make a "day" out of the bummer of a feeling. After all, it was just a moment that was "bad" right?

Stop allowing those moments to ruin all of the good things happening around you.

I refuse to believe the darkness of ill intentions can block out the rays of awesome surrounding us every day. Let go of the night, look towards dawn...it'll be here sooner than you think.

<3

play.

I know you are scared. I can see it in your eyes. Don't worry, I've been there, believe me. All of a sudden, things are changing...and the thought of a tune very different from the one you know, can be terrifying.

All I ask is you realize one thing. This isn't a crisis, this is a new beginning. You are starting the life you were meant to lead.

Things up until now haven't been a waste...they've been wands of wisdom and lyrical messages from the soul. So, take those tunes and make the music you were meant to play. Go forward without fear.

Look at me. Smile. The hard part is over.

Now, we sing as beams of light warm our faces and hearts. The words will come as the beat sets our easy new pace.

Now, we truly live.

flame.

You sit there...in the darkness, blinded by resentment. It poisons your life, seeps into every fiber of your soul. The bitter blackness of a spirit burnt by expectations.

Now, you search frantically. For light, a glimmer in the night...anything. How could they abandon you on your own? Without leaving guidance?

Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe-you aren't meant to walk anywhere in the darkness right now? The temporary blindness is a gift, and if you would simply close your eyes to breathe, instead of feeling lost and out of control, you will feel safe.

Center yourself in the darkness. It's a reminder to be still. What you are searching for is inside, not the light provided by another.

Become your own flame. Burn brightly.

selfish.

Dear Friend,

I miss you, cry for you...grieve. Yet, I know my actions are selfish. The tears are for myself, lost without your laugh and wishing I could bring you back. You are in a wonderful place, living past the physical limitations that kept you from doing what you loved while you were here. I'm sure your days are filled with wine, singing, dancing, and swimming with other saints.

A life closer to the sun, how fitting. It makes sense, considering you were the ray of happiness for everyone in your presence. Smiling with the ability to turn the most stubborn scrooge into a softhearted sap.

Today, I will cry one more time...knowing full well I'm feeling sorry for myself. Drops of greedy rain, falling from my eyes. Craving one more hug, one more laugh, one more shot of energy from your smile. You made it possible to believe the impossible is a lie.

But, don't worry-I fully realize your gift to us. A perspective where holding back isn't an option, happiness is a choice, and being stingy with love...is a crime.

Thank you, for the positive push from above. Time to wipe my tears, and outfit myself with a grin. You've changed everyone around you, for the better. Now I leave this selfish sorrow to step into the light and warmth you left behind.

-Erica

*This post is dedicated to my dear friend Darcy Pohland. I love you, and can see you raising hell up there. Keep it up. There will never be another like you.

quiet.

I can feel the breeze as you pace by me. Wrapped up in your world of yesterday and tomorrow. Eyes shifting, as I see the gears in your head working overtime. Talking yourself into worry and doubt.

Be careful.

Your mind is speaking so loudly, it's drowning out the message your heart is trying to send. Shhh...listen, to the simple silence of your soul. It's when you reach the point of hearing nothing, you will realize you are everything.

<3

water.

Dear Family-
(yup, you are my blog family <3) I'm breaking my "normal" style to tell you about something very important. Near and dear to my heart, actually.

I talk about how happiness is simply misplaced. This is true. But for some, it's hard to simply survive. Despite the crappy state of parts of the world, if everyone pitches in, just a little, we can make a big difference.

That's where you come in.

You see, I'm giving up my birthday this year. Yup, you heard right. Giving it up so the gifts I would have gotten, can instead be turned into donations to a cause I care very much about. After all, I hardly even remember what I got last year.

I'm turning 29, and instead of asking for gifts, I'm asking for $29 or more from everyone I know. A lot of ppl don't realize that a billion people in the world are living without clean water. Millions contract deadly diseases from contaminated water. 45,000 people will die this week alone. 4,500 children will die, just today. It may seem overwhelming, but...if we all do just a little, we can accomplish a lot.

I'm not here to guilt ya into donating, I realize the economy sucks right now. If you can't, that is totally fine and you can still help by word of mouth--spreading awareness is just as important. :-)

Thanks for listening :-) If you've ever taken something from these words I write, this is your way to show me. But, if you don't...I will still love you, promise.

Here is the link for donating, the campaign runs through May. We can make a difference. Believe.

-E

forecast.

I can see you, allowing the stormy weather surrounding others, to determine the atmosphere you live in.

Just keep these things in mind:

1. When you think the sky is dark, the rain will drench you to the core.
2. When you complain about the brisk breeze, the cold will seek you out.
3. But, more importantly, when you seek sunshine it will find you. Because it was always there, you just needed to look behind the clouds to find it.

Create your own forecast, there are sunny days ahead. I promise. Now go, puke a rainbow. ;-)

seek.

What happens when we plant our gardens, and tulips spring up where we think the roses should be? More often than not, complaints flourish, about the flowers we didn't expect, instead of seeing the new blooms as a compliment to the surrounding stems.

We say our jobs make us wary, our family and friends exhaust us because they aren't doing what we want them to. What we expect them to do.

Stop expecting. Start creating. Manifest your own fate. If you leave it up to someone else you are a bud without water, in the middle of the desert waiting for rescue. Instead, seek out the spring, control your surroundings, and bring happiness into your life.

Once you nourish yourself, and colorful petals start to show, the weeds of the world will have no power. Don't you see? You have the means to create a garden of good. Stop sulking in the scorching sun. Get up, and plant yourself in a sanctuary of action and love.

disaster.

And we watch it all unfold from afar. The cries, devastation, and tragedy. It's like a horror movie, with characters as real as you and me. A mother grieving for a lost child, father searching for his wife, friends hoping to find their missing pets...the innocent animals who complete them.

And we forget that the actions we take half a world away, are not helping. Our complaining about coverage and rants about destruction, aid not one person.

We say we wish would could help, yet we sit in front of our TV's with lunch on our lap...turning the images off once we feel uncomfortable. We have food, electricity, and love...and the means to give these things back to the people we watch for entertainment. And forget, that giving up our dinner for a few days...could make all of the difference.

But, in the end if you don't want to talk about money or need, then at least talk about charity from your soul. Fill your heart with compassion, reach out, and let the survivors know you care about them, not about the "stupid" things media do, or what government isn't.

After all, the quakes, shakes and giant waves of fear are here to do one thing. To remind us to love each other.

equation.

"I'll never be happy."

"Things don't go my way."

"I just want a sign things will work out."

You want a sign? Here ya go. This simple blog entry found you today, didn't it? Allow me to hit you over the head with this you seek.

Life, is good. Challenging? Yes. But, good. Often times we are so busy complaining about what is going wrong, we don't take time to acknowledge the dozens, no, hundreds of things going any given day.

So, take time to count your blessings, see how they add up. Crunch the numbers. Do this daily, and you won't have time to subtract from your happiness with the negative thoughts.

That, my friend...is the math lesson of life, we so easily forget. An equation for puking rainbows.

<3

listen.

All day long you talk about how you are listening. Yet, you speak about it so much...I don't think the world has a chance to get a word in edgewise.

With things like radio, tv, video games, and unicorns to dream about, it's amazing you even have a chance to think, let alone listen.

So, at what point will you break? Realize it's all just too much? Your mind and heart caving in from the stimulant torture. We call these things luxuries, as they provide us an escape from ourselves. An excuse not to face orders from higher up, favors for friends, or the music in the speakers(reminding us of memories, a plethora of them bad).

Going, going, going...thoughts reeling. Like a merry-go-round of words, spinning until you are physically ill.

There is a solution, you know. Turn it off. No, not life...the unnecessary static. Turn your dial to a frequency of necessity, not want. Now, drive. Not thinking about the past or future, but instead taking in every single sound on your journey for what it is, breathtaking. You'll find beauty and peace right here, right now. Breathing in, and out. The sound of the road bringing you closer to presence.

A light through the pane, or in some cases...pain. A window of escape, as long as you look for it. Right here. In the moment.

<3

answer.

A small break this Monday morning(formal writing will continue again tomorrow). *Those who have been reading for awhile, know I do this from time to time to talk about friends, influences, music (Dan and Cole), etc... Also, I just wanted to clear something up I've been getting a lot of questions about.

A lot of you have been asking about my link on the left side of the page to "I Wrote This For You." Q. Why I link to it, who writes it, etc...

Well, I link to it because I dig the writing style. And, as far as the author, I'm not exactly sure. But, after looking around...this is the only info I could find:

I Wrote This For You is written by two lovers who respond to each other only through the blog as a way to hide their romance. Collectively, they refer to themselves as Iain Thomas, a character based on a friend they met while traveling in Africa, although sometimes they also refer to themselves as Jon Ellis, whom, it is assumed, is also a character based on a friend.

This was revealed in phone-in television interview on National Singaporean Television in December of 2009.


(As you were, back to normal/happy entries again tomm) <3
E

highway.

I've been watching you, for awhile now. Talking yourself in and out of the trip we both know you must take.

Sitting in the vehicle meant to conquer your dreams, revving the engine. Your tank so full of desire, it's overflowing with fuel for the future.

Dammit, take your foot off the brake.

I know goodbye is hard, but saying hello to a new destiny will make up for it, I promise. The road may look long, but the longer you sit here, the more gas you are wasting. Why risk running on fumes, when you have more then enough energy to make it if you go now?

This is your highway to happiness. What are you waiting for? Drive.

bloom.

I can see your tiny body, standing steadfast and strong. Like a flower fighting against the wind to stay upright.

Just remember sometimes it's OK. To be afraid of that powerful breeze. The other meadow residents won't blame you for allowing your stem to sway.

The buds and blooms around you have been a witness to your resilience before. This may be the first time the pests have attacked your core, but not the first fight you've led against something unfamiliar.

So, little flower...please listen. Realize, YOU are more than just your hardships and hurdles, more than the insects that take your strength. You are a beautiful bud, ready to open. As if to say, "Damn you wind, pests, and fury of nature...I will battle to bloom, and you can't stand in my way."

~~~
stay strong, friend.
-e <3

love.

I hate to tell you this, but you've got it all wrong. Love is free. It's not about flowers, chocolates, cards, and diamonds. It's about special glances, laughter, kisses, and stolen moments. The message I give you may seem confusing at first, but stick with me.

Please take this as a compliment when I say, you don't complete me. I complete myself. Emptiness cannot be filled by another person. It's like sitting a full glass of water next to a partially empty one. They may be closer together now, but one is still empty, and if a glass gives another the liquid it holds, now all you have is two, half full. Nobody is satisfied.

So, satisfy your own thirst, a brimming glass will run over, plenty of love flowing for all. Don't get me wrong, by this I don't mean to be selfish. Just to realize, you are complete no matter who is, or isn't at your side.

Stop looking for someone to fill the hole. Be whole in life on your own, you have that power. Then, seek a lover and partner brimming with awesome, just as you are. Someone who can afford to give, and won't go emotionally bankrupt, because they are also rich with joy.

Companions in completeness. :-)


---

ps. I love you, honey. <3

storm.

Love is what a rainbow sounds like, when it refuses to fear the storm.

And you, my friend...are the pot of gold I'm trying so damn hard to get to.

You are the prize, riches beyond my craziest fantasies. It's too bad you only see yourself as a puddle, abandoned by the rain.

Look again. You reflect the sky. And the sun. Dammit...you practically radiate threads of golden light. See yourself, for the beautiful soul you really are.

Your gift to me is a different view of the world, a portrait of perspective more vital than air. So, sit here...as I breathe in your warmth. We'll make it through another storm together.

<3

dark.

You wake from a nightmare, frantic, panicked. But, it wasn't a dream...this is real life. You begin to cry, and want out, as quickly as possible. But, still you see nothing. Only darkness.

Something more is out there. Warmth. Comfort. You feel it, radiating. So close, yet out of sight.

Screaming, "Help me!" You reach out in frustration, hoping your hand will touch something real. To bring you back.

Frustrated and full of fear, you sit with your face in your hands, sobbing. Feeling the tears stream between fingertips.

Then, you blink.

A flicker of light.

You blink again. Faster, willing the drops of salty water to leave your vision.

Everything is clear again. Every damn thing. Beautiful. New. Full of life.

You were so panicked and afraid of what was out there, so stuck in your land of nightmares...you didn't even realize, your eyes were closed. The dark prison where you were trapped, was all in your head.

So, open those beautiful eyes. Consciously use them to see good around you. The moment you stop looking for light, darkness will cover your eyes again.

Seek the radiant rays as a road map, and you'll never be lost, alone, or blind with fear.

<3

~~~

contagious.

I know it's cliche to say "I know how you feel" so I'll just shut up for a second. Because I know, right now you don't want to hear how happy things will be down the road. You want to feel the pain, because it brings you to life. It reminds you, you are human.

I offer to listen, but you don't crave a silent ear. You want someone who will feed the drama. Tell you how you've been wronged.

Well, you've come to the wrong person. I won't do that. Fuel the fighting.

Why?

Because it doesn't help. It drags you back to that horrible place of anger and resentment, once again. That bitter block of time, in the past. Ruining a perfectly good moment in the present.

So, excuse me if I feel my stomach churning, and if without thinking I puke a rainbow on you. I'm a carrier of consciousness. Keep me around, and you'll catch it.

The sensation may seem strange at first, almost foreign. But, believe me, if being infected feels this great...I don't ever want to go back to being normal. Happiness is here. Contagious.

monday.

And you say you'll wait 'til Monday. That weekends are for recovering.

Recovering? From what? The job draining the life from you? The meetings you can hardly sit through? The classes you are only taking out of obligation for what you "should" be doing with your life?

I hear you talk about these things, sucking the passion from your heart...yet you aren't willing to do anything about it? C'mon friend, you deserve more.

Take one second to look me in the eyes and listen. Please. Hear me out. If you work towards your dream now, maybe you won't have the DESIRE to "recover" on the weekends. Ever thought of it that way? An existence with satisfaction, everyday of the week.

Flowers grow, every single day. A day off from reaching towards the sun would mean dry roots, and droopy blooms.

Your soul doesn't take Saturdays off. Satisfy it.

<3

sleep.

You say you're "tired of it all." Yet, you drag yourself through life like a zombie...repeating the same dance, day after day.

You say, "Someday I'll do it. Go after that dream." But, your "some days" are turning into today, and they'll soon become tomorrow's past, which is yesterday, then you realize in panic:

Poof. They're gone forever.

So, wake up. Right now. Be your dream, while you are conscious. Create your fate, while you can still see. Make it a reality, while you still have the ability to "do." Or, risk waking up to a feeling of despair, and a blank book of "what ifs."

Fill the pages. Live. Regrets don't exist here. Only lessons. Beautiful, living, breathing life lessons.

<3

~~~

hero.

You roar through life, shielding everyone from the evil monsters nipping at their heels. Pulling them out of harms way and wrapping them in your armor clad embrace. A hero for the hurting in a time when few care about anyone but themselves.

But, after battle...when the armor lies at your feet and you clean your wounds, your eyes shift down.

You look tired. Weary. As if you are about to give up. Everyone has cleared away, shown their gratitude, moved on. Or so you think. I know the battlefield feels empty, silent, lonely. But, it's just the stars whispering to the universe to give you rest, allow time to heal...time to remember who you are, beneath the tough shield. A kind, giving, intelligent, amazing person.

But, we are here. Marching. In the distance. We never left you...we only went for reinforcements. Now is the time to step up and take back what is yours. Love, inspiration, and life. The things you've given us, again and again.

The toughest battle is in the books, over. Don't stop now. It's nearly dawn, the sun will be here soon. You may be wounded, but you're still our champion. Allow us to carry you a few steps to your horse, so you can lead us once again, and teach us the ways of kindness, beauty and strength.

This is it. Your moment. Come back to us- ready yourself again for combat, but please fight for the one person you've been overlooking.

Yourself.

Because without you, we are simply a band of misfits and outcasts, living in chaos and despair...but at your hand, we are an army of soldiers with kind hearts and quick minds...standing behind a hero who can't be matched, and taught us everything we know.

One day we will tell the story of your legacy. How you slayed evil and changed our lives. But, we'd much rather have you here to tell it yourself.

<3

--

goodbye.

The miracle, of loss.
Yes, I said loss, not life.

You're hurting, and I can tell. Wounds are fresh and feelings are hurt. Grieving. I wish I could fix it, take it all away. The pain.

It's hard to see it now, but loss can hold a gift.

Without tragedy, or life-changing events...we would be emotionless robots. When one of us is hurting, we comfort each other. Band together. A united front. Learn what really matters in life.

But, when things are just "OK" we have no reason to speak, hug, or do more than just survive.

So, grieve, feel, hurt, and don't forget to squeeze back when I embrace you. After this dark day, things will be brighter and new...I'll remember how this felt, even if only to value the days that aren't like this one.

I love you.
---

martyr.

You sacrifice.
Work long hours.
Give up on your dreams.
For others.

Or so you tell yourself.

But, in the end...you point the finger at those you say held you back. Even though they never had a choice in the matter.

So, stop it. You are nothing but a martyr...for yourself. A sacrificial lamb, to prove you are "the most caring person." Be careful, pent up wishes and dreams may be poisoning you slowly, toxic with resentment.

Don't you realize? You are most use to the people around you, when you are happy.
Include yourself among those you are willing to risk everything for. That, is how you can give back to them.

---

labels.

We may be parting ways, but our hearts will always keep a piece of each other. Tucked away in our soul's pockets.

For, you can change the label of the relationship...but you can't change the feeling. You don't need to write, call, or even wave.
What we have cannot be put into words or a short, courteous greeting.

But, I'm not sad. You helped me realize who I really am.

And now I'm off...to be who I've wanted to be.

<3

---

give.

You say what I do is great, amazing, inspiring, and even allow the word heroic to leave your lips. But, you are wrong.

My actions aren't nice...they're necessary.

You say you can't give. You can't afford it. But can your conscious afford not to?

Take away everything you own, and you will be bankrupt. But, you will still be better off than the survivors in the 'quake. Go for a day without food, how much would you spend? Every little bit helps. It's the least we can do.

Spread love. Human beings dying on the streets...your happy hour and new gadget can wait.

I know you. The generosity in your heart. I can see it in your eyes.

Look, please. Down here. I'm on my knees, begging.

Give.

For Haiti, and for the health of your heart. <3

lit.

I told you...don't lose hope in humanity. People want to help you. They are there, just confused.

You are a match. You spark their memory. So they remember they're capable of change. Capable of pushing others to be better. Capable of starting something big.

I don't care if it's been raining all day. It's still possible to start a fire when the drops have subsided. It may be slow going at first. A little smoke, a signal to other sparks that you are rubbing your hands together, gearing up for the big event.

Then, crack! The flames begin. Your doing. You...all by yourself. You've lit a flame so powerful, it could bring the entire forest to it's knees in a matter of minutes.

Don't take the power lightly. It's fuel, inside you, waiting to be used. Nectar for the orange, red, and blue flames dancing around and thankful to be free to spark other, smaller fires of the future.

I see the smoke. Your smoke. Will you light the fire this time?

Let's turn the world red with good.
--

blind.

Happiness has sought you out.

Stop closing your eyes.

It waves a bliss filled hand in front of your face...you stare straight ahead, not a blink.

Why? Everyone else believes in you. And no matter how hard we try to tell you it's well deserved, the blindness to the joy in front of you won't go away until you believe, as we do.

You've taken chances on us. Been our rock of reassurance along the way.

Now, take a chance on yourself.

Before your eyes are glued shut for good.

<3

silence.

Some days the words are louder than others. Swarming in your head, a tornado of thoughts refusing to stop. You listen to them, and second guess yourself. Over and over, until you are at wits end.

Trying to catch your breath.
Gasping for air.

"Be quiet! All I want is silence!" You scream to yourself.

Don't worry, it's there. The peace you think is so far away is just waiting for you to find it. Just like an animal blending in with it's surroundings, unmoving. Waiting to be discovered, standing there, observing you.

And when you find that creature of solitude, it's head will snap up with surprise. Stunned, because for the longest time, it watched-observing from a camouflage of quiet, concealed beneath the frantic phrases you thought of constantly.

But, now you've found it. And every time you look, it will be easier to spot. The first discovery is the most difficult.

So, breathe...and keep your eyes peeled. Silence speaks to you, and wants to help, but all too often you are so busy you forget to look. Seek it out, and it will sing you to a song of stillness and relief.

Beautiful, noiseless lyrics, nobody can ever take away.

hill.

The trip is uphill.

You will sweat.
You will cry.
You will feel your muscles burning, legs shaking.

But don't forget to look around on the way. See the flowers waving at you with encouragement. The trees telling you to push on. Birds leading the way.

Signs, everywhere. Open your eyes.

And once you reach the top, the feeling will be impossible to explain. Your mouth will open and your lips will be speechless. Your tired body will feel weightless.

Push on. It will be worth it.

I promise.

--

blame.

The garden of prosperity is dead. He killed it. She killed it. Everyone else...they took it away from me.

Ya know what? An excuse...is not a free pass. It's a lie, to yourself.

You sit, and justify everything going wrong in your life. What about everything going right?

Once you pass the buck or blame someone else for the way you feel, act, or speak-they have power over you. It is only when you take responsibility for what is going right or wrong, that you can enjoy it-or change it, depending on what the situation is. Those feelings are then truly yours.

So, c'mon friend...stop blaming your neighbor for the flowers dying in your yard. Instead, water your ideas and watch them bloom. Don't blame the seed for not being a rose, instead...nourish it, take responsibility-turn it into what you want it to become.

Take charge. Take care. Give hope. To yourself.

Only then, can you provide hope to others.

--

absent.

I want you to know how much I've missed you.

Your laugh, smile, and ability to bring me back to the present moment.
Your way of turning my temper into tears of happiness and how you transform tense shoulders into a giggling shrug.

I'll find a way, to stay closer. To pencil you in for more hugs and place you on a smile schedule. Because people are more important than papers, deadlines and dates.

You, are more important...than anything else.