resolutions.

I don't care if you want to be thin, quit smoking, or find a new job.
I just care that you're happy.

That's my resolution for you. To be happy, today...with yourself. Because you are wonderful. 2009 knew it, 2010 is about to find out.

So, smile and stop worrying. Forget about what year it is. Forget about how much time you have to "accomplish" something. Forget about the butterflies the word "fail" conjures up in your stomach. What does it even mean? It's a silly label, that's all...a word, it doesn't make you less of a person.

For each moment is yours from now on. Live in the present. Be here, now.

<3

gift.

Sometimes: My heart stays in the past.

Sometimes: My mind is racing about the future.

Sometimes: I forget about the present.

A real gift.

Live in it.

translate.

Sometimes I think you expect me to translate what you are saying. Even when you don't say a word. Your eyes don't speak like they used to. Why is that?

Let's work on learning each others language. I'm trying hard to interpret, but you seem to be talking in tongues.

Slow down. Speak with a smile.

It's so much easier to understand you that way.

intoxicated.

I'm drunk on your ideas.
The ways you inspire me to be better, do more, and think...

Tipsy on your kindness, outreach, and open heart.

And buzzed from the way you spin a hopeless situation, into hopeful.

My head may hurt in the morning, but it's only from my mind stretching to lengths it's not used to. Manifesting much more than I ever thought possible.

I'm where I am today, because people like you have shared your shots of awesome.

Pour another. Time to go on a bender.

Thank you.
Cheers.

ripple.

I may fail, but at least I tried.
I may not make a tidal wave, but I know I'll make a ripple.
I may not let go when you ask me to, but at least I have something to hold onto.

Hope.

So, off I go. My optimism in tact. Why do you beg me to stay?
Are you afraid these smiles of determination will tarnish your precious reality?
It only takes one, and what if I am that one?

No...it's time to try. Not tomorrow. Not next year.

Now.

believe.

It's the Holidays. Everyone takes a break...so I'm taking a break from my normal style. Here is an attempt at an interior monologue/conscious train of thought. No editing, just what I'm thinking. Welcome to my mind. ;-)

-----
believe.

It's nearly Christmas. Jingle all the way. Wow, the same carols are always playing and repeating.
What's that sound? Reality TV, it's worse than nails on a chalkboard. Joy, onto a commercial. Joy...means the holidays, but does it really?
So many are depressed, wow...that woman is crying on this show. It's so easy to watch the suffering of someone else, why is that? My friends suffer and I listen. But do I help? Do they feel like they need to help me, to keep me sane? Meh, why do I care? I don't know, I just do. That's natural, right?
Tuxedo, come back. The cat hates Christmas I think, destroying presents and bows. Maybe he's just doing it for attention, I should pet him more.
I should call my family more.
Kiss my husband more.
Do more freelance.
Ask for projects I know will be harder than what I'm given.
There is always more to do. Tasks at hand, but...I bring it on myself. It's fun. But is it really? Yeah...it...is....hmmm. What if I gave up extra work for a year? That's terrifying. What am I afraid of? Being alone with my thoughts? Nah. Boredom. And Tyra Banks, she's terrifying.
Self. Who am I really? Waffling between the conscious and unconscious world. It's scary. At peace, or at war inside. I suppose it's a choice. I want to breathe. That feels better. The silence is like a gift. Why do we even give presents? I don't need another candle, or gift card I'll lose. But, it is nice of people to remember. Even though half the time you know they are handing it to you thinking, "I got you something...it was an inconvenience."
Christmas shouldn't be an inconvenience. Maybe I should give it up. Can you give up a holiday? Or, I'll celebrate every day as Christmas, or maybe Thanksgiving. An excuse to be happy. And eat. The American way.
I don't need an excuse, this day is wonderful. Even the stupid reality TV show. I hear the snowplows drive by. People are cursing the roads and travel conditions. But, why? Complain about the long drive, or complain about staying home, you can't satisfy anyone really. It's not about pleasing the masses. It's about living with love. Do what you love. Fear is a learned condition. It's hard to grasp. Sharks are scary. But peaceful. Just like life, you can look at it two different ways.
How in the world did I get to sharks? It's still Christmas Eve, right? Do you think Santa is riding a holiday shark when the reindeer need a rest over the ocean? Sure, why not. He's real, I'm convinced. We should believe in everything like we believe in the big dude in the red suit. Blind faith. Trust. I trust you. My readers. With my secrets. And insanity. You are my holiday gift. My personal shrink.
Give me the remote, this show is ridiculous. Nah, just turn it off. Let's cuddle on the couch. Bring the cat, he needs attention, too. Happy Holidays, whatever you celebrate. It's all equal, it's all important. Just believe.

pure.

Don't worry.
The flakes will fade, and ice will melt.
And in the end, the flowers will come back...they always do.
Until then, look out across the pristine white and remember, we all are allowed the same liberty as this landscape.
A fresh start.
In only an hour things looks so different, and you can do the same by simply changing the way you view your surroundings.
Who knows, if your approach shifts, maybe those things will finally yield the change you have been waiting for, impatiently.
Give it a try. Let it snow.

tardy.

I plug on. Pushing over obstacles, and urging those who drag their feet to move, hurry up, or step aside.
It feels like it will never end. The daily grind of what surrounds us.
Then, I encounter that one person, you.
Offering an ounce of encouragement, and a sheepish smile.
"So sorry I'm late." You say.
But you aren't late. Kindness can never be tardy.
You are right on time, my friend.
Thank you.

envy.

Opportunity knocks.
You slam the door, instead of welcoming it in for tea.

Wealth is at your feet, a penny at a time on the sidewalk.
Yet you walk by, dismissing the riches waiting to be found.

A homeless person, is begging for the roof you have over your head.
And still, I hear you curse the leaky faucet.

Someone right now, would do just about anything to have your life.
So, use it. Love it. Live it to the fullest.

Before it's taken away.

stone.

I look at you...and am drawn in. Not sure what it is. The confidence, the way you carry yourself? Probably.
Yet, you are guarded. The type of person I can tell doesn't let others in easily. And it makes me wonder, what happened? Why the stiff stance, as if your limbs turn to stone when you are close to someone you obviously care about.
I want to shake you. Tell you to stop.
Please, let down the wall, before it's so high, even the sunlight can't touch you.

dried.

I hear you complaining about being used.
The things you do, are generous-no doubt. But, would you rather be known as a martyr or a friend? If you don't respect yourself enough to know your limits, how do you expect others to?
So give, be kind, and help when you can. But please, don't forget to water your own stems. I'd hate to see your flowers lose their color, blooms lacking the strength to open. Take care of yourself, your vibrant petals are drooping, but it's not too late to nurse them back to life.
<3

luck

You complain about everyone else having all the luck.
But if you weren't so busy worrying about the "other guys" you'd have time to see, you are the lucky one.

The day you stop allowing the opinions of others to rule your life, is the day you are free. To love, create, and enjoy life without anxiety, fear, or doubt.

Don't worry about what they think. Hell, don't even worry about what you think. Don't even think at all. Just be. Live. Now.

tough.

One day I'll say it.
Yell it.
Scream it.

"Toughen up. Stop complaining...do something about it."

But today, is not that day.

Today, I just hug you-because I can tell your voice from within' is already deafening anything I scream, speak, or whisper.

Tomorrow we practice tough love.

But not before today's weakness makes us stronger.

silence.

Some days are tougher than others. I just don't know what to tell ya. But, maybe that's good for a change. Because the silence has more insight than I can ever provide. After all, it's the pause before the final note of a song...that gives us time to really comprehend the lyrics.

p.s.

My friend Iain is one of the best guys around. He's given me personal, and professional advice...and never once said "no" to a favor.
He inspires me to write what I feel on this blog, and on a creative level the way he thinks has pushed me to push myself at my job.
He has changed my life for the better. This is why I ask you, please read this letter from him. There isn't a more deserving person in the universe.
Lief (Afrikaans for "love" -again, a lesson from Iain)
E

pls read, then vote:
The Open Letter

<3

snow.

The slippery white fluff may be a hazard, but to us it's a playground. A place to bask in a bright, pristine landscape...glowing bright in the middle of the night.

The power of those tiny little snowflakes, to turn darkness to day-is amazing. You have that same ability. Shine.

Break through the black during your delicate dance to the ground.

Your light will attract more flurries, and together you'll show us how different the world can really look, in a matter of moments.

It all starts with just one. You, snowflake. You.

drip.

We talked about this before. Your drama faucet

You told me you had turned it off. But it's starting to leak.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

And I'm afraid the sound of the drops is drowning out the sound of my voice, as I try to bring you back.

Just breathe. Turn it off. Re-living the drama over and over isn't worth it. Because eventually the drips turn to a steady stream, and the stream turns into a waterfall.

I don't want to lose you to the current. This is not the person I know. Stay with me on the safe, calm shore. Here we can stare at our reflections and smile, instead of holding our heads underwater.

Stay dry.

wall.

Come here, I have something to tell you. I'll put this as nicely as possible.

There is a difference between venting, and attracting additional drama into your life.

Is it really doing any good? Working yourself up, over and over?

While you are busy talking of wilted dreams and flowers...a life of peace, sunshine, and fulfillment is waiting quietly for you to claim it.

So, I will continue to listen, but hope you see the smiles worth living for, on the other side of the wall of rage.

shopping.

No gift I could give you would capture your awesomeness.

So, why don't we just agree to exchange glances, hugs, and giggles?
The holiday three nobody should (or has to) go without.

I'll remind the universe to send you a thank you note for the smiles you are spreading.

leash.

I know your bark is bigger than your bite, and more transparent than any cliche could ever be.

I'm not going to give up on you. I refuse. Instead, I sit. Ready for the fear to vanish. And when it does, I'll be here. Without a single scratch on my skin. Because my armor of present moment thinking made it possible to deflect your nips and snarls.

Yes, your ferocious facade will crumble.

Fear is your leash. It's up to you, to untie it.

grey.

After awhile, the digging, hateful words you speak become gibberish. A foreign language to my ears. Brain, heart, and soul choosing not to process the ugly thoughts you throw.

If you are going to speak in colorful tones, at least make it sounds like a rainbow.

I see no pigment in your voice. Only grey, dreary fear.

When you are ready to explore the new chroma and hue of happiness, wake me up. Because right now I'm dreaming in color, and my heart refuses to compromise by flipping to black and white.

grip.

I want to hold your hand.

Not to lead you astray or pull you down. Only to let you know, you aren't alone.

Your palms clammy, fingertips shaking. Why are you so afraid?

Breathe...listen to your breath, and feel the warmth of my hand. Let me help.

Because I'd never forgive myself if you slipped away.

The world needs you.

Hold on.

friendship.

If you talked to your friends the way I hear you talk to yourself, you wouldn't have many people to pal around with.

You deserve to love yourself.

Start now.

training.

"I wish...I...well, it's not fair. Just never goes my way...then you... make me feel. Ugh. It'll never happen. Why don't you just...?"

What? Why don't I just what? Stop encouraging you? Stop pushing?
Fine, I'll give it a rest. But remember this: life is a footrace to get to your dreams, and by the time you stop whining others will have a head start.

So, step up. Stop wallowing in the attempts of moments past. Strap on your sneakers, exchange complaining for training, and look towards the finish line.

Put one foot in front of the other. You'll get there. I promise.

Ready...set...?

Go.

stoplight.

Speeding through the streets, rushing to get somewhere...anywhere.
Green.
Yellow.
Red.

Damn you, red. Always there, at the worst possible time. Or is it?

Maybe it's just the universe telling you to breathe. Take a look around. You're so hell bent on driving to this place we call the future, that you don't even realize-you first need to be content in the present.
Who knows, I might be standing in the crosswalk...asking for a ride. Together, we can find a direct way. To happy.

So, stop. Breathe. This moment is what you need.

It's not a stoplight. It's a pause for peace.

push.

Ready to leap.
I approach, with confident steps...only to stop at the edge of the airplane door. My parachute firmly in tact, safety precautions in place. I pause, muscles ready to jump, and...
Nothing.
Breath leaves me, tears form. "I can't do it!" I cry.
I whip around hysterically to yell at the lot of you, "What if it doesn't open? My chute? Then it's over...I'll die!"
You step forward one by one, to hold my hands, brush my cheek, a force field against fear.
Whispering, "Is dying really the worst alternative? Or not living?" I open my mouth to answer, when suddenly I feel my balance shift.
I'm flying through the air.
You pushed me.
You PUSHED me when I told you not to.
How could you?
How...could...?
Wow.

I love you.

seeds

The seeds of change are scattering.
New flowers popping up everywhere.
Beautiful.

This is your doing, you know.

By nurturing the blooms already in your life, it prompted buds to grow bigger batches of pollen to be harvested, filling the hummingbirds with joy. The little guys flutter their wings, talking to each other. Telling their garden pals what a wonderful caretaker you are.

Pretty soon, blossoms, trees, and bushes are popping up all on their own. Surprising you with colors nobody knew existed. So vivid.

This, is love. It acts as a magnet for good things. The more you tend to your garden the more it gives back to you.

I'm honored to be part of your creation. A friend flower.

order.

The order is wrong. Again. Food steaming, along with your temper. Disgusted, you roll your eyes.

What. Are. You. Doing?

Is it worth it to allow something like this to ruin your evening? Stop acting as if the establishment has a personal agenda against you. Do you think they want to be bombarded with complaints and disdain?

Events don't determine happiness. It's how we react, that matters.

In the end, your food order isn't the problem. It's the order, or lack of...within. Accept. Now, see the bad feelings wash away.

Who knows, maybe the apologetic waitress used to be an Ad Exec, and lost her job. Or, the cook is preoccupied with his sick father's condition.

The next time you are quick to point the finger ask, "Am I reacting, or overreacting?" Who knows, a sympathetic smile could deliver a free dessert... of happiness, with a cherry on top.

mud

Those flowers...in the distance, they will make you happy, eh? Now, explain this to me. If your happiness is over there, waiting-why in the world are you standing here, instead?

Yes, I see the hill. It's a tough trek. Mud in the way, making progress slow.

But friend, in the end, which option is really the hardest?

1. Making the tiresome journey, but finally smelling those bright blooms, the ones calling you all these years. Filling your heart with accomplishment, love, and strength.

Or,

2. Living your entire life wondering what those vibrant colors feel like in your fingers, wishing you could drink in their scent of warmth and merriment. Always feeling an emptiness of the unknown.

The excuses you make are only preventing the true joy you deserve. Who cares if in the end, flowers fade? Savor the feelings and keep them forever, use them to guide you towards new gardens, paths, and prairies full of promise.

Flowers fueling your fire.

Who cares about a little mud?

bullets.

You poke and prod and attempt to stamp your brand on everyone who stands in your way.

They yell in pain and retaliate against the burning phrase and ideals you force upon them. I hear your screams at them, "I'm right here. This is the right path, this is my path so it must be right!" Like a child. Tantrum.

But is it the "right" road, just because you say so? Or does the fear of walking alone mean denying others their freedom to choose which way to step? I know it hurts to see them inflict close-minded pain unto others. But, by hurting them...it alienates them to change.

Stop firing bullets of hatred at those you say are causing the trouble. They can't hear you with the assault overwhelming their senses.

Be calm. A reflecting pool of love for them to learn from. By example.

After all, we'll all end up in the same field of forever...some will just take longer to open their hearts to acceptance.

flight.

You. A fountain of smiles and pool of energy. Constantly showing eyes of compassion and the embrace of strength to others. Reassuring them, the future will happen...no use forcing life into fast-forward.

Putting your hands on my shoulders you speak in an even tone, "It will happen. I have no doubts. You will do this."

Your words work magic and lift me up. By the time we are finished, I feel my feet leaving the ground. High on the taste of your friendship.

Wait, why are you still on solid ground? Come up here with me. You did this. You helped me see my true self.

I notice your defeated smile. Empty eyes. How did I miss it? I've allowed the kind words to blind me to the most important thing. You.

After all, you weren't really talking to me...were you? You were talking yourself into something great. But, lacked the faith to strap on those wings. Please, look in the mirror...utter that magic spell again. I only wish you treated yourself as well as you treat your friend.

begging.

It's come to this.
I'm begging.

Please don't keep your gift inside any longer. Your insecurity is selfish. Depriving others of the inspiration they need. Somewhere out there, a person is waiting for you to spark a blaze within them.

Your message of love throwing the unconscious thinkers off balance, but only at first. Dizzy, spinning, nearly out of control. Blindsided by burning love. Don't worry, the warm feeling will compensate for brief confusion. Wrapping them in a blanket of comfort and passion.

Then, a whisper...

"Thank you."

Because your action gives them hope. To try. To share. To live.

soldier.

The cold outside is no match for your desire fire, burning deep.

The chaos around you can't compete with calmness within.

And the naysayers and dream killers are no match for your starry eyes, determined smile, and soul...in this moment.

Soldiers for the surreal, we are. Warriors, for freedom.

Off to a combat in the clouds, where guns fire fairy dust and bombs blow our minds with ideas of inspiration.

One by one, the militia will follow. You leading the charge.

Bringing your faithful following closer to the light of good.

Step up. I know you can do it.

Share your strategy. Move us to act.

March.

race.

I've heard your cries of martyrdom. The tireless mouth vomit of ways you've been wronged. Shoulders hunched due to this burden you constantly speak of.

Listen to me.

The world...is...not...out...to...get...you.

I repeat, the world is not out to get you.

I mean, let's be honest, the man/woman/being/spirit/whathaveyou upstairs has better things to do than plan ways to make your life horrible. ;-)

Challenging circumstances are simply steps in the staircase of life. You can do one of two things. 1. Pick yourself up, push on and get to the top sooner rather than later. or, 2. Step up and down on the stair giving you trouble, over and over. Refusing to accept your lack of forward movement...even though everyone can see you are simply spinning your wheels.

It's all about choice. Now, let's go. You and me.

Race you to the top?

star.

Your dreams have suffocated, before being given the chance to leave your lips. I can see them behind your eyes,screaming to be heard.

What are you afraid of? They are your thoughts, and belong to you...nobody can rob you of them, unless you allow it.

So, stand up. Open your mouth. And speak the song of inspiration. Not for me, or mom, or dad...your friends or foe. But for yourself.

Once the birds, trees, and flowers hear your plans...they'll sigh with delight...blooms opening and branches waving in applause. For, what was once but a thought, is now spoken word. Real. And within' your means to accomplish.

Now feel the freedom of your announcement propel you to new heights.

I'll see you among the planets and moons...for you are, and always will be, my favorite star.

cloudy.

My eyes mist over and I realize the droplets of dew will come, either way. Fight them, or force them...it's no longer my choice.

The downpour drowning my cheeks.

Finally, I let go.

But, am I saying farewell to the real you? Or just a facade you gave me to get what you want?

Either way.

I hope after you are washed downstream, flipping through the current, you will come to rest along the shore without injury.

Breathing in air as if it's the first time you've really noticed it. Eyes opening to see the world for what it really is. A place where flowers and fawns don't owe you any favors...but will allow you a whiff of happiness if you offer protection and kindness.

So, maybe we'll meet again...when you've shed this skin you've trapped yourself in. The one keeping you underwater. I'll look for you, always. Please wave when you see me...it's hard to see through clouded eyes.

join

You and I talk about the "I wish," "What ifs," and "If onlys."

Not anymore.

Today, we make it happen. Because we can.

Using our superpowers to dominate the world in goodness, helping others to walk on mountains and move water. Because the cliche things super heroes do are beneath us now. We can offer something more. Bigger.

Not because we are greedy, but because we are capable.

Not because we need recognition, but because others do.

Not because we are wearing capes and tights, but because our jeans and t.shirts are the costume of change.

Not because we need to do something of epic proportions, but because the little things will morph into masses of action...pulling us along for the ride.

You and I, joining together. To save the day.

rise

Don't let it end.
This day.

And poof. It did.

But the feeling remains. This warm glow within, causing me and you to puke rainbows and dance with the butterflies and hummingbirds.

It stays because time doesn't even exist in this fairytale land. Here, a handful of us are dodging the darkness emitted from those sad, angry people who call themselves friends.

Maybe they believe they are showing love. Even when they spit fire. We don't hear their vengeful words directly, but the warmth of the flames licks our backs...and we know.

Our wings protect us. Lift us up, over this land of hills and treacherous trenches. Smooth flying, untouchable.

For we've found this mecca on our own...and nothing anyone can say, will ever take it away from us. Here in our hearts. We know...we must stay and protect, or risk losing it all.

:-)

Recently, I had the privilege of bringing together 4 of the most inspiring people I know.
This is what happened when their great minds formed a collaboration across continents, dreams, words, and music. I'm so humbled to have played an extremely small role. I know this isn't usually the type of thing I write about...but I hope this brings you happiness. I feel like crying I'm so ecstatic. Enjoy.

pretend.

Some days the smiles just aren't there. The expression doesn't quite make it to your eyes, and I know you are faking a moment of happiness just to maintain control.

Thank you.

Because sometimes, that's all I need...just a half grin to hold on to, one person in this world refusing to wear a scowl. Fighting fear. Refusing to take the easy way out.

You are a light. And even if today you are pretending, know this...you saved me from myself with the small effort you made.

Eventually your upturned lips will trick your heart into finding hope. I've witnessed this before. So, fake it at first. But know eventually the character you play will come to life.

chapter.

Today, believe you can do it.
I'm sick of seeing you defeat yourself before you even get started.
So...here is the task.
Write your life as if it's a bestselling novel, and the rights are already sold to the publisher. No turning back, no second guessing. Just pages of power, all in your hands. Flowing out of your pen, effortlessly. For when you analyze, re-think, over think, and dismiss the ideas before you even get them in writing...it's like burning a perfectly good story before anyone even gets the chance to read it.
What a shame. Someone needs those words...you need those words.
Trust yourself.
Go for it.
Be heard.

bear...

hugs.

(one size fits all)

:-)

faucet.

...and in the end, you're right.

I'm choosing to live this way.

Initially swept up in madness, but then volunteering for it over and over again.

This has gone on long enough.

The water is rushing so hard now I feel as if my body is being pulled under in the current of hard feelings, ego driven grudges, and living in the past.

I twist the knob quickly, stopping the flow.

Off.

Wow, it was that easy.

My drama faucet, without the water rushing through it has no power over the sounds in my mind.

All I hear now, is beautiful silence. And a drip....reminding me of the turmoil I choose not to re-visit.

I choose. You choose. And together, our outcome is peaceful, without judgement, argument, or conflict.

I like this new life. The water running over my thoughts was making me shiver anyway.

Now I'm warm and dry.

On the beach of beautiful silence.

rain.

You say hippie...I say happy.

You say weird...I say wow.

You roll your eyes...I open mine.

Maybe someday you'll understand.

I hope so.

Because living under your negativity umbrella has only been shielding you from the sun already shining on your soul.

eyes.

...and today, it's more important than any other day for you to open your eyes. Right now, this moment.

See.

No, don't just look.

See.

I'm not talking about gazing at physical objects. Stop being so literal. You are surrounded by positive energy everywhere you look, but you allow your mind to cloud your vision. Blinding you.

Stop listening to that crazy voice in your head, start feeling with your heart.

Otherwise you'll completely miss the point.

Of life.

And how bright and hopeful it really is.

So, see. Today. Or take the gamble of losing your sight, before you've even used it.

numb.

Today was a departure.

My smile faded and was replaced with a blank stare. Eyes refusing to focus. Heart racing, yet the world seemed in slow motion. Nothing processed. I felt drunk on the feeling of being numb.

No drugs. No booze. No pills or medications.

Just my mind. Putting me in a place where feeling didn't exist.

Until it did. And it wasn't in a good way.

Tears were coming, in my confusion. What the heck was going on?

Breathe...I whispered to myself. To you, because I could tell by the look on your face you felt the same way...eyes frozen in panic.

"What is wrong with us?" You ask. "We are the happy ones. The conscious thinkers...we think of ourselves as enlightened. We aren't supposed to feel this confusion, this sense of emptiness and worry."

I sigh, and firmly say, "Yes, yes we are supposed to feel it."

"How could that be? I thought we were past this hurdle of unhappiness long ago?" You whisper with wide eyes.

"Calm down...it's just a reminder."

"A reminder of what?"

I sit...head in my hands and pause to look up at you.

"A reminder, of why we choose to live in the Now. A conscious life. To acknowledge the fear, and instead of allowing it to rule our lives...learn to give all of our energy to it, then let it go without looking back. To feel the bad feelings so we remember how good the positive ones really are for our souls. To know why a smile feels so good...because a frown feels foreign."

You sit by me. "So, what do we do now?"

My eyes meet yours. "Well, friend. Now, we breathe again...for we've acknowledged the pain and confusion. We've allowed it to take it's course. But now we control it. Not the other way around. It's our choice to let it go. To choose hope. It's only a test. And by enduring it, but not allowing those feelings of dread, negativity, and anxiety to linger...we've passed with flying colors."

So smile. Some moments are hard for everyone. Even I. The important thing is to acknowledge it...and continue to look for the good. Don't concentrate so hard on the sadness that you close your eyes to the good around you. It's over. Let it go. Stop holding your breath.

Now.

drive.

As luck would have it, I ran into you. It may have been an accident, but I'm pretty sure fate had a hand.

Now, you are helping me create a reality where I am the driver, prophet, and navigator of my own soul.

Funny (or maybe not), I never knew it was this easy.

Before I always thought I was "unlucky." Now, looking in the rear view mirror I see those experiences have led me to this life. An awesome life.

So, nothing that happens is "bad" or "good." It just is. Who knows, the horrible failure may lead to a glorious new path.

OK...stop writing my thoughts off as crazy religious talk, that's not where I'm going with this at all. Just because I use words like path, glorious, and prophet doesn't mean I'm planning to shove Jesus down your throat. That would hurt like hell.

All I'm asking, is for you to trust yourself. Your life. Where it's headed. When you accept the situation, things are easier. Don't get me wrong, I don't want you to give up. Just acknowledge what's happening, and stop judging it before you know the full extent of the direction it's pointing you. Before you create unnecessary drama and pain.

Whether it's a bumpy road or a smooth ride, the highway of life will lead us if we want it to or not. And while you are looking in the mirror at tailgaters, you're missing the magnificent view on the horizon.

holy...huh?

Today I found out Jesus Christ, otherwise known as @imthesongofgod is now following me on twitter.

I was surprised, because even though I'm a spiritual person...I don't consider myself all that religious.

Could this be a hoax? Maybe. Maybe not. I'm a little freaked because "He" is only following 19 people right now. Random folks from all over: Canada, Florida, etc...

Perhaps Jesus loves the internet and realizes that we aren't seeing the signs he's giving us anymore and wants to actually put them into 140 character form?

So. My question to you is this. What do you think Jesus would tweet. (or WILL tweet, if it's really him?)
---

Some of the things I think he'd say are as follows:

"Stop talking about me. You say "Jesus" all of the time, then I think you need something, and really you're just being sarcastic."

"You have nothing to be afraid of...including me."

"Let go. By holding on to grudges and hard feelings, you are suffocating yourself and your creative potential."

"Yes, you can wear plaid and stripes. Go for it."

"You are full of awesome. Start acting like it."

"Saying you are Christian because you go to church is like saying you are a horse just because you are standing in a barn."

"I love everyone...everything. Even big bangs and scrunchies, stop judging."

"Just because another religion refers to a higher power by a different name, doesn't mean you need to persecute them. Love."

"Tag. You're it. I love you...pass it on."
---

What do you think he'd say? Ready...?
GO.

waste.

I'm going to be stern with you, just this once. It's nothing personal, or maybe it is.

Here goes.

Shut up.

Shut up. Shut up. Shut...UP.

You spend the day making excuses complaining about life and how it's done you wrong. What's the point? You are wasting time, and your talent. Instead of using your breath on those negative words and remaining a victim, do something about it. Those past experiences don't define the limits of what you can accomplish.

You.

Are.

Amazing.

With your talent, you could inspire the neighborhood, city, world. Why don't you?

Someone out there is hanging by a thread, waiting for the right words, song, lyrics, painting, novel, and actions to bring them back from the brink-and you have that capability. That amazing power.

So, stop wasting time.

Do you want to be known as the person who didn't...or the person who did it?

Tick tock. ;-)

hero.

It never fails.

Just when I've given up...you step back in and sweep me off my feet.

Funny thing is, you were ready and willing to be my champion this entire time. I just didn't think I deserved it, and locked the doors to keep you away.

Through stubborn silence you pushed on. Never wavering, waiting until just the right moment to take me by surprise, guard down. Met by resistance, your gentle nature a sword piercing my resolve.

Yes, these are tears.

Of joy.

Because once again, you showed me:

I'm worth crying over.

I'm worth sleepless nights.

I'm worth...loving.

No matter what.

These tears of happiness, are for you.

My hero.

reunion.

Take: time.

Give: love.

Savor: stillness.

Accept: peace.

Resist: nothing.

Because when you allow all of these things to happen...your dreams will tap you on the shoulder, sigh like an old friend, give you a hug and say, "I've been here...but you're mind has been clouded with so much other junk, justification, cynicism, and chaos you haven't been able to see me until now."

After all, dreams are friendly. They want you to find them.

;-)

dance.

I'm happy to say this is a true story.
:-)

Tonight I was walking back from dinner break with a co-worker, when we spotted a man dancing down the street. In the middle of downtown, mind you.

My first thought was, "Ahhhhh yes, another homeless person. On drugs."

Then, I took time to really look.

The man was dancing to the beat of his ipod. An interpretive dance. Twirling around. With a huge grin on his face. Was he trained? No. This was obvious. But, what he was doing was no less beautiful than the perfect lines of a trained ballerina.

We passed him.

I looked around.

People were staring. With a variety of reactions. Some smiled. Others pointed in laughter, their eyes clouded by something....fear. They may mask it as sarcasm or poking fun, but really it's just fear of happiness. They are intimidated by the bravado of this man. Envy glistens behind their eyes. Wishing they could join him, but instead...mocking.

We walk on.

There are more of them! Dancing individuals. Of different ages, sizes, abilities.

I think to myself, "Hmm....must be some kind of acting class."

We pause, looking to unravel the mystery, stopping a female dancer in street clothes. This woman is actually sporting an old fashioned walkman. She is young, probably mid twenties. But has wisdom and joy written all over her face.

My co-worker says with a smile, "Hello. We were just wondering what this is all about?"

The woman just nods. Taking her headphones off, never stopping her movements.

Again my companion says, "No really...like, is this just for fun? Why all the dancing?"

Smiling, the dancer puts her headphones back on and starts to backpedal away...a graceful action. With a glint in her eye she says,

"Do you feel it too?"

We are left stunned. But smiling.

So, I guess that's the question....do you feel it?

Then, dance.

do.

If I was younger...

If I was older...

If I was thinner...

If I was smarter...

If I was richer...

I would.

Enough already.

Start doing.

It's all within' your reach...but when you sit there looking at the ground, you can't see the doors of opportunity unlocked in front of you, waiting to be pushed open.

Look up. Step forward. Give 'em a shove.

You never know what's on the other side until you stop being so stubborn and actually try. Failures will fade, but regrets....they stay with you and steamroll until one day you are on the verge of insanity and engulfed by them. Blaming everyone around you.

Well, stop it. Take responsibility. Be happy now.

Stop wishing. Start creating.

still.

In a world where everyone is trying to cram 25 hours into the day...take it.

Time.

To be still.

Because you deserve it. You owe it to your heart to let it take top priority. Forget your mind for a second. Just listen to the beating of your heart. How amazing, eh?

With each thump, do you know what is happening? It's pumping love through your veins. I'm not talking the puppy dog romantic kind of love. I'm talking about the stuff that breaks down walls, opens eyes, and makes amazing things happen.

It's in YOU.

So don't waste it. Don't let it sit petrified in your veins due to lack of use.

Create a beautiful world full of love. Because seeing things from a martyr's perspective in your mind isn't doing any good, and you're definitely not doing yourself any favors by thinking that way...instead, use your heart to become the light people need, right now.

So pause.

Listen. Love. Shine on.

numb.

Some days I can tell you feel numb.

Not necessarily in a bad way, but I can tell your eyes aren't focusing right and you have to ask twice whenever I speak to you. Staring through me. Unreachable.

You seem generally happy, yet you hold back. Eyes glazed over, not quite connecting.

Just let me know if you're OK. That's all I ask.

Blink.

Or something.

Anything.

I'm not asking you to wake up from the dream you are having, in fact I hope it is wonderful. But I do want you to know, if it's a nightmare in any way...I'm here.

Sleep tight.

solo.

What's happening around us?

Lean in closer, I'll tell you.

Amazing things.

Strangers are giving compliments to each other without reserve. Neighbors are helping each other clean up after the storm. Friends are staying up late at night to talk about nothing, everything, and all that's in between.

People are connecting.

So, why are you sitting at your lunch table all alone? If you want time to be solo, then I accept your plight. But, if it's to hang your head in self pity and darkness....that's another story.

Open your eyes. See the awesome world for what it is, just that.

Being alone is just fine, in fact I find it's my favorite part of the day. Just reflecting, with a silly grin on my face, about how things are changing and life is brighter. Not everyday...the bad ones still come, but the moments of darkness are fewer and far between.

There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. I don't think you realize it yet. When you do, I'll be here. We can be alone together.

In peace.

Smiling like idiots.

I can hardly wait.

:-)

a 'lil something different.

I don't usually do this...but these are lyrics to a song a friend of mine introduced to me. See his amazing rendition here:

one day the dreamers died within us
when all our answers never came
we hid the truth beneath our skin but
our shadows never looked the same

a ghost is all that's left
of everything we swore we never would forget
we tried to bleed the sickness
but we drained our hearts instead
we are the dead

and when we couldn't stop the bleeding
we held our hearts over the flame
we couldn't help but call it treason
after that we couldn't fill our frames
after that our shadows never looked the same

a ghost is all that's left
of everything we swore we never would forget
we tried to bleed the sickness
but we drained our hearts instead
we are the dead

in summers past we'd challenge fate
with higher pitch and perfect aim
and standing fast, we'd radiate
a light we loved but never named
but the answers never came
and our shadows never looked the same

a ghost is all that's left
of everything we swore we never would forget
we tried to bleed the sickness
but we drained our hearts instead
we are the dead

a ghost of everything we though but never said
we tried to bleed the sickness
but we drained our hearts instead

we are the ones who lost our faith
we dug ourselves an early grave
we are the dead, can we be saved?

stillness.

You think of yourself as a magnet for chaos...as if it seeks you out. But really, it's drama you seek on your own. Not always in a bad way, it's just who you've conditioned yourself to be. But, dear friend there is another way to live. Separate yourself from the whirling thoughts, gasping breaths, and to pull out of the dark hole you've called home for so long. Although, sometimes I wonder if you truly do want to escape. Or if you have so much stock in this person you think you are...you refuse to see the pure being within. The possibility of life, happy beautiful life. Lower your voice. I can't hear you when you speak in that tone. The yelling sends my mind a message saying, "Turn off your ears for I fear you will go deaf if you continue to listen to this madness."

That's it.

Stop.

Close your eyes.

Darkness.

Black...but wait, it's not a fearful place you're in now. Lids closed...but a light in the distance. What is it?

Stillness.

Wow, it's beautiful. I can hear everything around me. The computer hums, my throat clears, and more importantly it's the one thing I don't hear that's truly beautiful.

The thoughts. Usually waging war with each other in my head, have subsided. Breath is the important thing right now. Not the petty argument, judgement, or self destruction. Just stillness. This darkness behind my lids isn't that of fear, it's one of tranquility. You can't get to me here. I won't let you. Even though you are my mind... my soul is separate from your demands. It is a choice, to end this.

And I have. Farewell fear. I won't be back soon...and that's a promise. Stillness and I have a date, and whenever you come knocking again I do believe I'll be too busy washing my hair to even say hi.

:-)

---

sandbox.

You sit...covered in dirt and loving every minute of it.
The sand between your fingers feels like tiny particles of magic, making your dreams come to life.
You work on, building your little masterpiece taking risks with design and calculation. Parts fall, but you don't mind. It's just another handful of sand, and everything is fixed. Finishing touches complete, you admire your handiwork and prepare to present . Only to hear the shouts, "Stop playing, you are late for dinner. Get inside...now!"

Hurrying past the screen door, you enter another world. But, your work of art is still in your mind. Waiting for the opportunity to speak, anxious to share. Only to find out, things are tough today. Everyone is chatting nonsense...it sounds like a foreign language. Anger fills the plates at the table. Bills, debt, work, love...or lack of it.

Wait, love? Work? You speak up.

"I worked today. Hard. I finished my castle...we are going to live in it someday. I promise. OK?"

The silence is deadly.

What did you say?

Those who tower over you dismiss your work...as playing. "Wait until you are in the real world when you are big." They bark. Like dogs, soured by beatings day in and day out. They don't know better. Tethered to their masters on leashes they've fashioned for themselves.

It's hard to know what to think.

But, that's the point.

You don't need to know what to think. Because you feel it. It's already inside of you. The joy. Playing or not, you built a fortress to store your dreams for safe keeping. No small feat. Age doesn't make those around you wise...in fact, what they are teaching you is a lesson in ignorance, little one.

What they see...is a mirror of what is lost in their lives. I take it back...not lost, misplaced. For passion and happiness live inside, at all times-waiting to be unleashed. They just need to sit down beside you to figure it out. You are quite the teacher, you know.

So show them, architect of innocence. Show them what it's like to have the hope of a child again. Because growing up, is overrated. Living your dreams while in your waking state, is true fulfillment. And you, are the master builder of your destiny... nobody can take that away. Step inside the sandbox, and feel what "work" is supposed to be like. Doing what you love, as the hours fly by. Someday the dinner call will be only an encouraging reminder to rest your happy soul. Work is only work, if you refuse to allow it to be playtime. It's in your hands, just like those tiny bits of sand. Now take a deep breath...smile...and build. Not because you have to. But because it's in your soul. Share your vision with the world...I look forward to living in your castle. :-)

----

the weight.

The weight of your words have remained with me this entire time.

I thought I had let them go, gotten past it all...

I was wrong.

Well ya know what? Forget it. You don't own my mind. The same way your hurtful phrases don't own my self worth.

Tonight I set myself free. Start dictating my own future. This time it's not failures surfacing...but accomplishments and goals ready to be conquered. Lifting me up, by their strings of hope and tides of reassurance.

For this burden has lived on my shoulders long enough. This time I shrug, the words fall onto the ground, one by one. Shattering as they hit the pavement. Now I run, but not away from the harsh reality you painted....but rather toward the blissful existence I know is possible.

Mirage?

No way.

This is paradise. I created it. Even if it is an island in a sea of hatred and negativity.

So, sit out there...surrounded by hateful thoughts, the sharks swirling around you. Because I am here, safe on my island. Comfortable with myself, the present, and the person I've become.

----

crazy.

So, I hear you think I've lost it?

Living in my house of happiness and writing about a new outlook on life.

Now, hold on a second.

At what point in our existence did having a calm new attitude mean I need help?

Bring me a straight jacket, so be it.

Because words don't hurt me anymore, and the vindictive thoughts of others are not seeping into my brain and poisoning my soul. It's my choice to remain immune now.

I'm exercising free will. After coming to realize life is too short to waste on hating others or hating myself.

Negativity breeds worry, fear, anxiety, and conflict.

If it makes me "crazy" to have a desire to let go of that type of energy...fine with me.

Because torturing yourself over and over with those toxic feelings will bring fear to your future, anger to your present, and death to your dreams.

And, that...sounds like insanity to me. ;-)

mirror.

Mirror mirror on the wall...why don't you speak to me at all?

The words come out of my mouth, guiding others. Sometimes gently, other times with a dash of tough love and a stern tone.

But, reflective one...you stare back at me. Not a peep.

Unyielding.

Unforgiving.

Unable...to answer.

Because you can't speak until I'm ready to listen. Only then will you truly be heard.

But I'm ready.

Guide me.

What's that?

Listen? To what? Don't toy or mock my questions.

Oh, your advice has fallen on deaf ears, you say? Who is it this time, gone astray?

My eyes open wider. Realization shimmering in my tears.

You're right. The reflection speaks of things the soul doesn't want to hear. At least not on the surface.

But now, I listen. To my own advice...coming from your lips, dear reflection. I had blinded myself and tricked my mind into thinking I didn't need it. Didn't need you. Your assistance.

I was wrong. Guide me.

I promise I'll listen this time.

---

axis.

The world is upside down...and it's hard to figure out which way is up.

Wait...is it the world that has turned on it's axis, or did you stumble and fall into a pool of confusion?

Stop.

Think.

Breathe.

Now... look within and find your way. Because really, you weren't ever truly lost, were you? Your compass was inside of your soul, pointing in the right direction. Screaming at you "go straight...no, don't stop-just over this hill is your destiny---stop turning around."

You didn't hear it?

Wait, there it is. Listen.

You don't need me to map it out for you. Your heart knows the way. I'll be here when the trail isn't so clear...but I can't choose your path for you.

The world has been waiting...slowly turning, a lullaby of sorts. Opening doors you have closed, over and over again. This time-leave them open...so you don't have to work so hard to find the key to unlock them again.

Maybe you were lost. But, it's good to have you here now...and the tools are with you to find the way.

This is the crossroads.

Will you stick to only what you know-or will you take the leap and dive in? I know it's a big river to cross but if you work with the current, plan, and swim hard....you won't drown.

You are too strong for that.

Everyone sees it. But do you?

I believe one day I will say, "Once upon a time...I knew someone who wrote their own destiny, and you better believe this story ends with a happily ever after." Hopefully I will be talking about you.

***

tiny.

You are a tiny little person.
With a big, deep, wise soul.

Today, complaints about working flooded the airwaves of my head.

But you...little one...you gave me perspective.

Facing death square in the face, your wish was to be at the place so many people speak of with disdain. To meet the ones I see everyday. The ones I take for granted...everyday.

Not anymore.

Thank you little man. Your wish, made me realize something so valuable...the lesson will stay in my heart, even after you leave this world.

The message...to always keep things in perspective, and value those around you. Life is too short to complain.

***I don't usually talk about who inspires my letters in my blog. But today is different. We had a visit at work from a little boy, who only has two weeks to live. His dying wish? To visit and tour the place I work at, everyday. That, my friends-is perspective. Thank you "Super Kyle" for being an inspiration.***

ignite.

It's amazing what a little spark can create.

Think about it.

One spark...creates a forest fire.

Amazing.

So...if one spark of fire can create such a life changing situation, think about what one spark of your imagination can change in the world. Or one spark of healing, love, generosity.

Your "tiny" idea or gesture could lead to the moment that changes someone else's life. I know you changed mine.

Don't take that for granted. Holding back isn't doing anyone any good.

A catalyst, that's what you are. You just don't know it yet.

So go...
Ignite.

~~~

sunshine.

You are a ray of sunshine.
Full of life, energy, and hope for the future.

By simply being near you, I can feel your spirit...the positive energy emanates.

Amazing.

Don't listen to them. The fools who think by using gossip, lies, and petty words they can break you down.

It won't happen. You are too strong for that, I see it.

Inspiration. It stems from your core. You are a creator and I can't wait to see you stun the world with your magic.

Cast a spell. A spell of sunshine. Never let them tell you, it's too bright.

I think...

...you should smile more.

It looks good on you.

intermission.

The characters are introduced in the play we call life. You strut from stage left, with confidence and that savvy smile.

But inside is a different story. I can see it. Your eyes are the dead giveaway.

Blinded by the spotlight, but searching for approval. Despite the roar of applause.

It's there, (the approval) ...why don't you see it? Look inside... all the validation you really need. YOU give yourself the feeling of importance. It doesn't need to come from awards, others or outside accolades. In the end, those things don't go with you...but your soul does.

I see it... your eyes shift. Untrusting. Putting up a front of good intentions. You don't follow through for yourself.

I'm not disappointed. I'm sad. Sad you undervalue yourself, and refuse to jump into the custom role the universe has created...just for you.

Others might take it the wrong way.

I know better.

It's an act.

You are playing a part.

But little do you know...when you do this, on your stage of thought and action-you morph from the hero/heroine of the play, into the Jester. For the patrons aren't able see through the costume you wear, to the true being inside. Even I can't, completely. But I know there is something more...I can feel it.

So, toss off your robes of camouflage. What is stopping you? Take the leading role, before the closing curtain falls and you are left holding a mask...and nobody knows the real you.

The time for "acting" the part has passed. Now, be yourself. I'm not talkin' surface pleasantries...I mean brave action-allowing the world to see your amazing soul and passion for life...no shame or embarrassment.

Intermission is over. Time for the shift in your storyline. :-)

your story.

A friend today said, "Good morning. Today the story begins with "once upon a time" and ends...however you want it to."

Can you feel how powerful that statement is?

You write your own destiny. I wish you could see...believe in yourself, like I believe in you.

Remember, your tale doesn't have to be filed in the "drama" section...you don't have to be a "mystery" either. You have the power to make your life a fairy tale.

Because you are that amazing.

identity

Nobody works as hard as I do.

If only people would give 100 percent.

I always get screwed.

It's all so unfair.

Maybe instead of using your time to complain, you should use it to be productive and lead by example. Nothing is getting done during the time you spent moping around and rambling about everyone else.

I see you. Rolling your eyes. Annoyed.

It doesn't look good on you.

Is it fear that keeps you paralyzed in your ways? Are you at a point where your "identity" is locked in to this sarcastic persona putting down everything?

Don't worry. If you decided to let it all go, be a positive influence...I'll bet ya nobody would complain. Or, are you afraid of the potential you might unlock by letting go of fear and allowing your drive and ambition to really show?

Am I talking to you?

Or myself?

Fifty percent of that answer, is up to you.

bad.

Ask yourself this...
is it the ECONOMY that is bad?

Or is it your attitude?

Did you complain any less when the dollar was worth more?

Be honest.

I once heard that people in one of the poorest countries in Africa were also ranked the "Happiest" in the world. So, tell THEM that the dollar going to crap is ruining your outlook on life. See how long it is before they laugh in your face.

Refuse to be sucked in by the cycle. Happiness has no price tag. You either are, or you aren't.

Negativity eats at the soul.

So, make up your mind to choose the path full of light. Or...sit there doing absolutely nothing to help the situation. It's up to you. Ya wanna be happy, or miserable?

out there?

I know you think you are "out there" when you say the things you do.

But the truth is...those words make more sense to me than the so called "normal" chatter I hear buzzing around me like static all day.

Hold on to your branch.

Out on the limb away from what we have been taught is the norm.

Hold on. Because soon you will have so much company...your branch will bend, touch the ground, and the new friends you've attracted with your enlightened thinking will stick by you and become the ground. Foundation. Yes....a new foundation, the rich soil of our thoughts nourishing the blooming flowers around us.

The fresh buds will speak of a new type of "normal"... the world changing around us.

It's happening.

sabotage.

Sometimes it hurts.

To watch.

How you sabotage your dreams.

Remember...excuses are worse than lies.

Allow yourself to truly live. You deserve better than what you are giving yourself.

see it.

I saw you today.

Walking hand in hand with a beautiful child.

The little girl held a page from a coloring book in her hand, showing it to the sky as if to say, "Here ya go, God...a masterpiece for you to hang on your wall of clouds."
You looked at her, a frown made of concrete on your face. Rolling your eyes in a way that said, "Stupid kid. So naive. What do you know?"

What does she know?

Look.

Her heart is open to the joy around her.
A lesson in pure elation.

The child, is the teacher.

Learn from every opportunity.

But first, open your eyes to discover them...right in front of you.

Magnets

Happiness, it seems...is like a magnet.
Do you feel it? When you are truly happy...you attract others of the same nature.
No wonder you are negative. Look at who you surround yourself with. If all you have time for is complaining with those pals of yours...you are robbing yourself of the moments of happiness. Wallow in negativity or bask in positive light. It's your choice, take responsibility. ;-)

Hello.

My world has shifted.
Things are brighter. More vibrant.
I wanted to share this with you.
I've realized...happiness is never lost, it's just misplaced until you find it again.
Let's embark on this journey together.